As I am waking up to the sound of pouring rain, I look around the room only to realize I am sitting in a bar. “I feel light headed.. Where am I? I’m gonna barf.” That’s when a gruffy looking bartender walks my way “Good morning Miss. You were looking so peaceful sleeping on the counter I did not want to wake you. You’re at the bar on 57th Street. It’s 7:50 am.” I start to panic, “OH MY GOSH! I’M GONNA BE LATE FOR MY 8:00 AM LECTURE!” The bartender looks at me with worry in his eyes “Ma’am, are you okay? Sorry for assuming so but you don’t phase me as a type to be going to lectures.” I run my fingers through my greasy hair and think to myself: what the heck is this guy talking about? That’s when I realize “OH YEAH! I dropped out of college two months ago.” After an awkward silence, I ask “Can I get another round of whiskey, my man?” He shakes his head as he walks to the back to grab me another drink. Meanwhile, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It’s been months since that jerk broke my heart, and months since I broke his neck. I’m such a wreck. I drop my head into the palms of my hands, “That’ll be $9.95 - paying cash or card?” I did not realize the bartender had come back “Card please”, I said while searching for my purse. “That’s odd. I can’t seem to find it. Where can it be?” I can feel something poking me above my breasts so I get off my seat and begin walking around the bar. “I have been searching high and low. Where the hell is it??? And what is this sharp pain I’m feeling near my chest?!” As I’m reaching my hand into my bra that’s when I could feel it “Ohhh. I forgot I placed it in there for safe keeping. Here’s my card.” He takes the card, swipes it across the cash register, then he sighs and looks at me “I’m sorry but your card declined. I’m going to need another form of payment.” A puzzling look spreads across my face as I look through my bra once more hoping to find some cash. No luck. “Uhh. Instead of the whiskey, could I get a job form instead?”

Working at the bar isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’ve been getting tips and making lots of money lately. I keep thinking about putting myself out there again. There’s this really cute guy, Klaus, who comes to the bar every week and sits at the exact same table I wait for. He is so dreamy I can’t stop thinking about him. Oh and look! Here he comes again! I can look at him all day–between you and me, I may or may not have followed him home one night. I watch him walk through the door and sit at his usual table, a two person dining area beside a big window. All I can think is: “I can’t take my eyes off of him. I want a piece of that hunk slice.” I bite my lip as I continue to stare, my eyes, following his every move. He waves his hand in the air acknowledging that he’s ready to order “That’s my cue!” I walk over to him with a smirky smile, subtly hinting that I’m interested and says, “Good evening. What can I get for you today?” He looks at me and our eyes meet, “Why hello again, Gorgeous. I’ll have a glass of the Manhattan Cocktail, please.” 

I give him another flirty smile and reach down to grab the menu from him; suddenly our hands touch! He gives me a grin and asks “Would you like to join me for a drink sometime?” All of a sudden I can feel myself turning hot, my cheeks blushing a bright shade of red, “I’d love to. What about this Saturday?” He nods to let me know he accepts. As I’m walking to the back room there’s only one thought in my head “Maybe this one will be different and he won’t end up dead.” When he stands up to leave, he hands me a napkin with his number on it, “Call me sometime?” I smile and nod. 

~Fast forward to Saturday night~

He puts his hand out and motions for my hand to join his, “You look dashing tonight,” I let out a small giggle and take his hand, “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” We danced the night away and he drove me home later that night. I think we really hit it off. As I’m stepping out of his car, I turn back to thank him, “Thank you for a great night.” He winks at me and drives off into the distance. Not even through the front door yet before I pulled out my phone to text him. “Hey. Thanks again for tonight. I had lots of fun.” I leave my phone on the charger before grabbing a bottle of Febreeze and heading up to the attic. 

Once I’m there I put on some gloves, light the scented candles and dig my way through a pile of boxes and blankets before uncovering a big brown chest. “It’s good to see you again. Did you miss me? I was out on a date tonight… It could've been with you.. if only you hadn't broken my heart–oh,and if it weren't for fact that you’ve been chopped into pieces.” I started laughing at the face of the man who played with my heart and began spraying him with a can of Fresh Mountain Air. “Do you like that, Sweetie? I want to make you feel at home. I remember how you loved the smell of fresh mountain air.” I pull out his small intestine and wrap it around my finger like a wedding ring, “What’s that, honey? Of course I’ll marry you! Oh Darling, I know you did not mean to hurt me. Don’t you worry my dear husband; now that you’re cold, dead, and lifeless, we can be together forever. Doesn’t that sound amazing? What’s that? Oh! You love me? I love you too, my prince charming.” Before locking up the chest, I place a few pumpkin-scented air fresheners beside his rotting body, “We can’t let anyone know you’re here, or else, they might take you away from me. And I know you don't want to be away from me. It’ll be our little secret. Shhh.” 

I place some old bedsheets and blankets over the chest and push it into the corner. I grab the boxes lying around and place it so that it surrounds the chest until it’s no longer in sight, “Don’t you worry, love monkey. No one will ever find you here, and that’s a promise.”

Three weeks have gone by now since my date with Klaus. He hasn’t been at the bar lately, nor has he been answering my texts. I decide to go over to his house to question him about his absence. He opens the door with a bottle of whiskey in hand and I start to speak, “Where have you love bunny? I haven't seen you at the bar and you haven't been answering my texts. You still love me right? Don’t tell me you lost feelings!” A voice shouts from inside, “Hey babe! Who’s at the door?” I can feel myself burning up with anger, “Who IS that?? Are you seeing someone else? Is that why you’ve been ignoring me?? I thought we had something special!” He steps outside and yells through the door “I don’t know, babe! I’ll be right back” then shuts the door behind him. “Look, bartender girl, I don’t know what you’re talking about or how you know where I live but I need you to walk away or I’ll call the cops.” I gasp at him with shock, “Excuse me? How dare you? You’re my soulmate!” He tells me to leave then slams the door in my face. I start to drive away–and once again, that old feeling of hate and anger starts boiling throughout my veins. “I WILL make him pay for this.” I run up to the attic and pull the chest from the corner and start to sob, “He broke my heart! He shredded it into pieces! He’s just like you!” I take a second to catch my breath whilst still plotting my revenge “I think it’s time you get a roommate.” 

I dig through the pile of poison I have just lying around and begin to plot “No. No. NO! Not this either. Nope. Nuh uh. Ugh c’mon where is it?!” I reach deeper and deeper into the pile until I grasp that little something I’ve been looking for, “YES! Here it is. Just what I needed.” I pull out a dark colored mask labeled Knock ‘em Out Gas and place it in a plastic baggy. “This’ll do the trick.” After plotting and preparing my revenge for days, the time is finally here. Tonight I will bring home my soulmate! 

The clock struck 0300. It’s go time. Driving over to his house again, I couldn’t help but feel confident. “He’ll love me again. I just know it!” I climb up to his bedroom window, which is located on the second floor, and I jump right in. “Oh no! I forgot about the hag he’s with. Fortunately I have my beloved dagger by my side.” After duct taping her mouth shut, I lean in close to her neck and with one swift motion, I slice her throat open. Blood starts outpouring from her throat to every angle of the room and it wakes up Klaus! “OH MY GOSH! What are you doing here?” He looks to his side and sees his bloody geiser of a girlfriend, “You’re crazy! Get out of here! I’m calling the police!” I start laughing at him, and with a smirk on my face I tell him, “Don’t worry about that.. It’s already too late..” I force the gas-filled mask onto his face and watch him as he loses consciousness.

His eyes are starting to open. I take the bundled ball of sock out of his mouth to let him speak “Where am I? Why do I feel so weak? What’s this groggy taste in my mouth?” I bring him a glass of water and pick his head up so that our eyes meet “Silly bear! You’re home with me, your wife! Aren’t you happy to be here?” He coughs up some blood and screams “What did you do to me? Why am I tied to the chair? And what is that horrific stench I’m smelling?” I wipe his blood off my carpet and begin to explain “Well honey cakes, you acted as if I were a stranger to you and I got upset. I thought we had something really special, like an electric bond that couldn’t be broken, and when you broke my heart, I had no choice but to knock you unconscious and bring you here so that we can be together forever.” He gives me a concerning look “What are you talking about? We don’t have anything! We never HAD anything!”

I gasp at his response “Are you telling me that our weekly connections at the bar meant nothing to you? That the moment our hands touched was just a hoax? And what about how you sit at the exact same table everytime you come KNOWING it’s the table I serve at? Am I just a joke to you? Does none of this mean ANYTHING to you?” He squirms around in the chair trying to break free. “We have nothing now nor did we ever have anything before! The only reason I sit at the same table every week is so I can watch the girl of my dreams across the street in the clothing store! It’s not my fault you’re the waitstaff for that table every time I come. And we only touched hands that one time because you deliberately placed yours on mine when grabbing the menu from me!” I clench my fists hard, allowing my nails to dig into my skin, “Is that so? What about the time you gave me your number and we went out dancing on Saturday night?” He continues wiggling in his chair as he speaks “I don’t know what you’re talking about! What date? When did I ever give you my number? You must’ve made it up because I don’t remember a single thing!” I grab the dagger on the table beside me and place it above his heart “Are you saying I imagined everything that happened between us? Are you saying it’s all a lie?” 

He nods his head at me, “I’m sorry but you’re delusional. The only connection between us is you being my waiter at the bar I go to. You’re psychotic, you know that?” The voices in my head keep saying the same thing: was everything a lie? Was it REALLY  all in my head? Did I have such a powerful obsession with him that I fooled myself into believing the illusions were reality?” I start shaking my head in disbelief, “You’re a liar! How dare you say it’s all in my head?! You played with my heart and for that, you deserve to die.”” I attach a rope to his leg and begin pulling him up to the attic. He scrunches his nose “What the hell is that smell? It’s getting stronger and fouler!” I pull the chest out and begin to open it, “Klaus, meet the other guy who broke my heart.” He started screaming for help, begging for mercy, crying and pleading, and meanwhile I’m just laughing in his face. “It’s such a pleasure to hear you suffer. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. Goodbye Klaus.” I grab my sharpest knife from inside the chest and in a split second, Klaus is no more. With a smirk on my face, I put all of Klaus’ remains inside the chest “I hope this teaches you a lesson my beloved husbands… No one makes a fool of me.”