The pain of losing a loved one can be very overwhelming indeed. The person I loved the most walking away from me has led me to live in the dark and coping up with this darkness hasn't been easy. I feel emotional and stressful. The theory of ignoring your pain so that it can fade away faster is just a myth , I've finally understood in the past few days that ignoring your pain can be tormenting in the long run , instead facing it and dealing with it can actually necessary for real healing. Yes , I have been healing myself . I have been alleviating the pain by telling my broken heart that it will survive. I am tired of waiting for the one now . The person whom I thought would be my forever one has proven to be the biggest mistake of my life indeed. Yes, I agree that I am the one who should be hold liable for doing this to myself . Yes , its me who's the idiot one because I was the one who got too much emotionally attached until I realized that it was just me , he wasn't even there. 

I've grown more and more intolerant of those kinky and sweet love songs which are played on the radio every hour. I've been crying for days now. Sometimes I ask myself why ? why am I the one who's suffering? why am I the one who's been more and more intolerant of the light of this amazing shining world. Why am I the one who's confined to the dark now? Why am I the one who's at peace with living alone ? why can't I laugh and smile just like I used to do with my friends? why can't my brain just admit it that its over? Why can't I convince myself that I won't be feeling those little electroshock which I used to experience eveyrtime we used to accidentally touch each other? why can't I accept that my heartbeat won't experience those little seismic activities because now he won't ever come close to me? Was this all meant to end like this? Is it just ? So many questions in my head .I feel like shouting it out from the rooftop that I'm still in love with him , but , I can't. He's not my anymore , he never was mine. 

Living with a broken heart feels like the end of the world. But , its not impossible to cope up with it. I know that I still crave for your voice, your soothing eyes and I still spend hours and hours going through your pictures, that warm smile of yours stilll melts my heart. Being in love is like being hooked on a drug and breaking up is similar to the addiction withdrawal. when will I be sober? When will I completely heal myself ? When will this grief stricken emotion leave me alone ? I have already given up but my heart still searches for you . It feels like I'm falling apart but still breathing with a broken heart that is still struggling to beat. Yes, You're  not very easy to forget . But, I'm still trying to forget you .