My brother, Tony, always had a peculiar way of showing that he appreciated and loved you. If he was extremely nice to you, he was either around certain people or he does not like you as much as you think. At the end of the day though, you could tell that he and I were extremely close. While others would say it was just bullying, I'd call it brotherly love.

Growing up without my dad around that much, Tony was the one I looked to for support on how to grow up correctly. While he may have had his own issues, he’s the one who taught me everything I needed to know. He taught me how to shave, how to be responsible, and most of all, how to have fun. It could have been playing video games, going somewhere with him, him taking me out to eat, or him just messing with me at home, he was just always having fun with me and making me laugh. He was always my best friend from day one. His influence definitely rubbed off on me as well, to some people’s worry. Mom.

Tony’s influence also taught me how to be responsible as a person and a student. He made me sit down multiple times and do my school work. Anytime my grades would begin to slip, he wouldn’t let me do anything but school work. As my older brother, he unfortunately had the power to give me, in his terms, “motivation,” to keep doing my school work. He also made sure I was well educated on drugs and made sure I avoided them at all cost. He was very against drugs and made sure I was always on the right path to succeed and kept them away. He always made sure I was in a safe environment and had me come down to his house anytime we had a problem at home. He always kept me safe from my dad growing up, making sure things were okay. This further influenced me to make sure I did the same thing for my little sister and brother.

Finally, Tony influenced me to be the overall person I am today. He taught me to always stand up for what is right and myself. He taught me to respect our mom. Most of all, he taught me how to appreciate the little things in life, even if he didn’t mean to. Everyday, I think about what he would have done or what he would have done differently. The way I make my decisions or how I finish something, he’s always the one I'd ask in my head. The way I'd talk to my mom growing up was from watching how Tony interacted with her as well. This built a good relationship with my mom as well. Finally, I began appreciating all the little things he’s ever done for me the day he passed. This made me begin repaying it back to other people in my life.

Although he was my best influence, he was also the example of what not to do for me. Tony was stuck in the loop of constant addiction and battles. He truly was a soldier and a victim of the cycle of addiction. At the end of the day though, he was my hero and the person I will always look up to when I need to. He will always be remembered in both his son and his families hearts.