I want to look at life with meaning, not just love. I want to look at life with happiness, not just sorrow. I want to have a real smile upon my face instead of hurt in my eyes.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Guess what? That’s a complete lie. The biggest lie of all, in my opinion of course. Words hurt a whole lot more than you expect them to. When someone asks me if something’s wrong, I say nothing, but when they walk away, I whisper “Everything..”
That’s when rain begins to fall from my eyes uncontrollably. I bury my face into my hands and try to hide my delicate emotions. Does this even help? No, not at all. Does anybody care? Probably not. I’m the girl who is always there for everyone, but when I need someone is anyone there for me? Once again another no. I’m tied together with a smile that is finally falling apart. My emotions and hidden feelings have been bottled up for so long that I just cant take it anymore. I’m tired of all the hiding, the tears, and the fake smiles. I want laughter and true friends back. I want to be able to go to a friends house and actually have a good time. I want to be able to go to school without worrying about the things people will say to me. If only I could be a little girl again. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about my weight, size, appearance, my hair or just anything at all. I would just do what made me happy and that’s it. If only it was that easy now days. Its funny how when we were younger all we wanted was to grow up and maybe we are growing up too fast. Faster than we should be. Hearts have been broken and we haven’t found someone new to fix them yet. We have so much love to give yet no one to give it to. Its time that 11:11, wishbones, eyelashes and all that good stuff start doing their job because words hurt and I’m tired of the pain and suffering. Then again, words only hurt when you start to believe them.