Rules are meant to be broken, forbidding something makes the temptation that much greater. But what if nothing is forbidden, will that lessen the temptation?

A parent’s job is to teach the difference between right and wrong, monitor behavior, discipline, love, and care for their child; but beyond all of those things, trust their child. The thing about trust is, it’s earned, and it’s easy to lose. Teenage kids want their parents to trust them with their freedom, but with the freedom comes responsibility.

Teenagers are known to be irresponsible, to make mistakes. So how can teenagers be trusted when there is temptation around every corner, willing them to make a mistake every change they get? How can a parent be sure they raised their child to know right from wrong, to not make mistakes? No parent can know their teen will make the right choice; they have to believe in their kid’s ability to do so.

Not everyone will make the same mistake, not everyone will want to try everything presented to them. Parents have to trust their child enough to let them make their own mistakes.
“You may have heard the story about the little boy who was watching a butterfly struggle to break out of a cocoon. Feeling sorry for the butterfly, they boy opened the cocoon and set the butterfly free. But after flying only a few yards, the butterfly fell to the ground and died. The little boy hadn’t realized that the butterfly needed the struggle to gain the strength that would allow it to fly and live.”
Teens cannot grow up if their parents are not allowing them to break free of their restraints and insecurities by themselves.

When a parent sets so many rules, standards, and guidelines that there is little room for expression of individuality, and to grow and learn, it leaves the teen with a choice; which rules, standards, and guidelines they break. “It is important for parents to make rules for their young children. As children get older, however, they need to lean and make some of their own decisions and life choices.” When a parent trusts their kid to the extent that they allow their teen freedom to experiment, the teenager is much more likely to respect their parents and their rules.

There is another side to parent’s allowance of teenager’s freedom. They allow too much. If a parent sets no standards for what is expected from the teen, if there are no rules, what is restricting the teen from trying anything and everything the teen can get their hands on? “Parents can prevent or delay their children from using alcohol and marijuana if they set clear rules and expectations.” A parent’s role in a child’s life may mean the difference between what they do, and what they don’t do. Some teenagers have set standards for personal reasons for where they draw the line on when to say yes or to say no. other teens are ready and willing to try anything and everything they can get their hands on. If their parents don’t disapprove or care, what’s stopping them?

Teens don’t always deserve a large amount of freedom, but before a parent restricts all opportunities a teen has of trust, respect, and freedom, they should listen to the teen’s reasoning on everything they’ve done. People make mistakes; it’s only human. But, after a teen makes a mistake, blowing up and restricting everything the teenager can do won’t stop them from doing anything. Teenagers will sneak around, lie, go behind backs, and not trust or respect their parents any more than their parents do them.

So, should teens be allowed freedom? To a certain extent, yes. Should parents have rules and guidelines? Yes. Can freedom be exercised and abused by kids? Freedom can be abused by anyone. But, teens should be trusted with the freedom they deserve and a chance to explain when they make mistakes. They are, after all, only human, a perfectly imperfect species.