From the day one enters high school, they will be hearing the phrase “these are the best years of your life” more than a thousand times minimum, or at least they will think so. As you make your way through the rigors of the class work, the stress of social life, and the frustration of misperceptions, you find that high school really isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Logically, if you find that it isn’t that great, then why not just fail or drop out? After all, failing isn’t that difficult. If you really want to fail, just follow the following three guidelines: 1) don’t do your homework or class work 2) fall asleep in class as often as possible 3) be disrespectful as possible to all high school staff. If you do these three things, you will succeed at failing as easily as flushing the toilet.
The key to failure is in the grade: earn an F, and you are failing. To receive an F, you must make sure not to do your work. If you didn’t know already, your grade is based off of a percentage of work you have completed and percentage grades on tests. Anything below a 59% and it’s an F. Most of the time, tests are just a bit below 50% of the total grade, so if you don’t do your work, then it is literally impossible to receive a passing grade. Essentially, the passing part of high school is entirely attainable through class work, and the key to burning the diploma is all in the grade.
Not doing your work in class is not always enough to fail. Seldom is a class possible to pass on tests alone, but these classes do exist. For instance, at WPHS, the Anatomy/Physiology class is approximately 60-70% test based. These types of classes are where the second key to failing comes in: fall asleep in class as often as you can. If you take the test with no prior knowledge of the subject matter, I guarantee that you will not have enough comprehension to pass the class on tests alone. Most test based classes are lecture based. So, if you don’t listen to the lectures, the tests are almost impossible to pass. In summary, if you can’t do well on tests, and you don’t do your class work/homework, the tangible pass/fail aspect of high school is entirely lost, and you will fail.
Compassionate teachers are normally only found in Hollywood movies, but occasionally teachers and administration will try to show pity on students who struggle academically. This pity can come in the form of an alternate education curriculum to award credit to students who have a slightly less “strenuous” work load. In Lehman’s terms: the students have easier work if they aren’t doing well in normal class. Here’s the catch though: this so-called “pity” is virtually never bestowed upon ungrateful or directly disrespectful students. Thus, the final base of pass/fail ability is covered. Being disrespectful to staff whenever the opportunity presents itself covers your last chance of passing, and guarantees that you will never receive that falsely phony diploma.
With the importance of a high school diploma at an all-time low, the necessity of passing high school is dwindling. There is no doubt that if you follow three simple steps, high school failure will be the easiest thing you ever do. Don’t do work, fall asleep, and be “that guy,” and you will not have to worry about the opportunities a high school diploma “could offer.”