I always had this weird notion of life being extremely difficult, slogging entire life, for NOTHING, and at the end of the day its NOTHING you all get.

Yeah, Nothing.

I still believe in it. Maybe with little improvisations, though.

We do run behind a lot of things. Desires, dreams and all that nonsense. But there comes one day when you actually stop running, because you realize you are running behind something which is running away from you.
There is a time when you realize, "it" just wasn't for you.
A time when you get tired.
Tired of all the expectations and losing.

I believe when people lose more than what they expect, they just become immune to all the losing. And why wouldn't they? They just become brave. Losing is a part of life. But what the author forgot to mention was, it should atleast be compensated with a fair proportion of winning (maybe, at times). When someone lose a lot, he actually doesn't have anything else to lose anymore. "Its' just yet another day of losing" for him.

There is a time when you stop believing in turning points. Because at every point you turn, you turn for nothing at all. So whats the point in gambling with your heart? Its really not that strong. Success stories are encouraging when you read them in magazines, but reality? Is it even close to encouraging?

Even I believed in "stories". But today standing at a position which has not just shattered me but also has broken me down into trillions of pieces, I have stopped believing in stories. Not because they are manipulated, but because they just depress me even more.

There are no happy endings. There are just endings. How happy or sad you are, its relative. Endings are constant. When a phrase ends, lot of things get buried deep down the lanes of Time. I know how it feels when you bury expectations. Its not easy. Well, a reality check. But, when you have buried a lot of expectations before, sometimes, it just become a little easier to bury yet another expectation.

So? Stop expecting? Well, practically I wish we could have done that. But as human beings, its lot tougher. We can't stop expecting, but atleast we can shield ourselves from the disappointments. I mean, are we even left with any other option?

Heart is a stupid thing. Weak and stupid. But condition it to such an extent that it either stops expecting or it just becomes strong enough to face the storms of continuous failures. Only feasible option.

I have become immune. I hope you become too.