I believe in being happy.



In On the Road, Jack Kerouac writes about his search for “It”, which is best explained as some moment of ecstatic bliss. He travels back and forth America on this hunt- every day is driven by this craving for joy.



As a teenager I’ve struggled with on and off bouts of anxiety and depression. Weeks go by that I don’t even remember because I would just stop thinking- I’d go through my days in some kind of numb, trance like state and not have the mental capacity to get up and do anything at all. But I have always tried to keep this perspective: that being happy is what we were created for. And that if I could just take the time to smile, laugh, and enjoy something every day, it would all be okay in the end.



When I read Sal and Dean’s story in On the Road, I knew that this “It” was exactly what I wanted. Although Kerouac’s (as the novel is autobiographical) reasons for his search and ways of finding “It” didn’t always match up with me, he had the same idea. I believe that what makes us human is “It” itself- that we have the capacity to experience this extreme joyousness and bliss. And by that, we have a duty to find it for ourselves. For me, it comes in the form of playing piano. Nothing makes me as happy as performing for people or improvising music in one of the tiny practice rooms at my school. But everyone has different, and many things that inspire, delight, and change them. If we don’t search for these things, then what else do we have?



I’ve gotten more and more help with my depression and my future looks bright as I head to college next year. But it has been optimism in the face of doubt, and belief in the power of happiness, that have kept me going every day. Even if I can’t travel around the country, I still make my life a constant search for “It”. I believe everyone should. As cheesy as it may sound, we only have one life, so we need to take advantage of the time we have. Jack Kerouac believed in one final “It” that he would find and keep forever- some kind of realization, or nirvana. I don’t know if this can happen- my fits of anxiety or sadness come and go, and probably will always come and go- you can’t be happy all of the time. But finding those little moments- that’s what it is truly all about.