It was in my first summer spent in China that I realized meat wouldn’t be reentering my life. I had considered becoming a vegetarian before but the disapproval of my family is what stopped me. I could not become one of those sick, pale girls who look like they were about to pass out. For most of my life I was a junk food girl, shoving down fast food hoping that if I was fast enough I might not be able to taste it. It seemed sort of like a challenge, eating as much crap as I could just to prove to others that yes, I do have a freakishly fast metabolism. I never questioned where the food came from, as long as it appeared on my plate that was fine with me. That changed on my first trip to a grocery store in China where the meat was being cut from the animal in front of you. It was then placed by the workers bare hands in a tub that was neither sealed nor refrigerated. Seeing mosquitos sitting on a slab of chicken was the last straw. Once it stepped out behind the sauces and smokiness, I finally realized how grotesque meat really was. It was time for us to break up.

Living in a house with models, you can assume that meat is never really popular, therefore giving me a safe haven to develop my loyalty to vegetarianism. However, the storm hit when I got home. My dad, a real meat and potatoes man, could not understand my sudden aversion to meat. I knew I was back where meat was supposedly sanitary, but I wanted to see how long I could last. My sister took every opportunity to point out how much of a nuisance I was for not wanting to go to Outback steak house where we ate about once a year. Can’t they see that it would be so much easier if they were the ones that switched their eating habits? If no one ate meat we wouldn’t have these silly problems. I still get comments like “you eat the food that my food craped on” and “can vegetarians eat animal crackers”? Poor vegetarians have to put up with so much. People are appalled when I ask for a sandwich without the meat. You would think that I was asking them to kill an animal for me. How do I survive, you ask? How do I not wither away into the shadows? I discovered a rare and valuable food supply that not only keeps the human body alive, but keeps it feeling good. These things are called vegetables. I know, it’s shocking. Be warned though, your body might start going through some strange changes. You might become fit, and have more energy. You also might experience cravings for foreign substances like kale chips and vegetable juice. Personally, my newfound addiction for vegetables is what has kept me meat free for over two years.

Now don’t be intimidated by the kids complaining about Meatless Mondays in the dining hall. They do not mean to insult you, they simply are unaware that these things called vegetables exist. Do not push them towards your discovery. No, leave them to rest, rubbing their bloated stomachs after eating their expensive meals. Leave them to complain about how much of a waste it is to have so much vegetarian food. What a waste indeed, to feed one person roast beef while you could stuff five people with vegetables for the same price. So why not force everyone to be a vegetarian? It really is a very simple concept. To give your workers their lunch break and some fresh air you can let them free outside where they can graze the pastures. They can enjoy grass and maybe even try a cactus! Don’t be angry with vegetarians for their life choices, they are simple minded creatures and easy to please. Just give each of them a carrot and they will run off with the bunnies for a nice dinner.