Lone wolf. Most people know what kind of a person this term refers to by the time they are around 10 years old. A lone wolf is a person that prefers to work alone, eat alone, and play alone. But is that all? What does it really mean?
In my experience, the term lone wolf is not used the way that people consider it. It is actually often used as a way to cover up that somebody is the odd one out. The person that finds every seat that they try to sit at “reserved”, and seems to end up alone in all activities, forced to pair up with teachers and coaches. In fact, I believe that saying that someone is a lone wolf is often, if not usually, a blatant lie. Like that time when the teacher comes up to you and asks why you never include so-and-so in your games, and you tell them that they don’t want to join, because they’re a lone wolf. Maybe it’s true. But even if it is, it is often because they tried to be included when they were younger and were left out, thus putting up shields to avoid looking out of place. You know that stoic mask they put on when they play solitaire next to a group of people huddled around a game of cards and no one inviting them to join? Yeah; that’s a “lone wolf”. And what about that guilty feeling that you get sometimes when you look over at the kid sitting alone because they’re ugly or uncool and tell yourself that it is perfectly OK because they’re a lone wolf? Yeah; That’s silent bullying. When I went to a KYA (Kentucky Youth Assembly) recently, they described it perfectly. In their words “There are no innocent bystanders”. I interpret this as anyone seeing a wrong being done without even attempting to correct it is as incorrect in their actions as the one making the first incorrect decision. Don’t be a silent bully, or a guilty bystander. Do for them what you would want done for you.