A codependent relationship doesn’t have to be romantic—there are many kinds of relationships, and some relationships are codependent.

A codependent relationship is one person controlling another and the other seeking approval at all costs. The controller is the narcissist, and the seeker of approval is the codependent. A narcissist is someone who expresses a high level of self-worth, and often worries about their own interested before they worry about another’s.

The codependent indirectly or directly encourages the controlling behavior the narcissist displays, and at times abusive behavior because the codependent wishes to please the narcissist, and experiences extreme anxiety if approval isn’t given. Once a cycle of control and submission begins it can end up being extremely destructive, and usually is.

Codependent relationships form mostly because two people are insecure. The codependent wants so badly to be accepted because of their insecurities and possible past issues, so they allow others to step all over them. Many narcissists put themselves on a pedestal because of previous, or current, insecurities. One individual wants to take, and the other has an excessive need to give.

Codependent relationships can result in depression, alcoholism, drug-addiction, eating disorders, sex addiction, social phobia, avoidant personality disorder, and many more harmful effects. And though relationships aren’t perfect it’s important to know when your relationship is getting out of control. If you feel you are unable to leave the relationship no matter the circumstances then you may be in a codependent relationship. Those who suffer from codependency are extremely hurt by even the slightest rejection, and may even see rejection when it isn’t there. You are unable to be yourself, or you feel like changing the other person in the relationship. If you enjoy controlling someone, or you always seek approval then you should look out for some of the other red flags because you may be suffering from codependency.

There is always a way out, or a solution for codependent situations. Counseling can help both people in the relationship right their wrongs because in a codependent relationship there is no one to blame, only progress to be made and self-work to be done. “Codependents anonymous” is a real support group, and has helped many people with their dependent or controlling behaviors. Talking it out with your partner, or friend, can help a lot, but if that doesn’t work out you may need to distance yourself from each other. Making a schedule for when you will spend time together can help you avoid spending too much or too little time together. Just always know it can, and will, get better with a little bit of work.