I wrote myself a letter. I wrote because I have recently found my self in the position I said I wasn't going to be in this year. I am not being clear, I am in a relationship, my first. The official first one.  It’s exciting, nerve wracking, and completely wonderful. Therefore I wrote myself a letter about how I feel right now and how I hope to feel in the future. I've decided to share it with you and yes I do speak to myself in the third person.

Dear Kim,
Hello! First off, I want to say I love you and I hope you’re doing well. This is incredible and amazing. You’ve finally found someone that you’re good enough for and you know is more than good enough for you. I have to say Daniel is, wow!There’s no better way to put it.  He’s much more than everything you’ve wanted. Thats quite incredible. I can tell he loves you very much too! I want to let you know that even though right now you want to be with him forever and you’re willing to push everything aside for him, dont. Don’t push everything aside because one day (I honestly hope it never comes to this though) you wont. Or he wont. That’s fine. You’re both human you make mistakes, you change your mind, you just feel different one day and that’s okay. He’s not a bad person because of that and you are not a bad person because of that. Don’t hold it aganist you or him. Dont doubt him so much. He has a life too, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You should encourage him actually, to enjoy  his time even though you’re not physcially there. Encourage him to go out and make memories. It’s okay for him to have female friends. They can actually help him with you! They can give him gift ideas and interprut your messages when he’s unclear, stuff like that. Let him know you’re okay with it, as long as he doesn’t take anyone home. It’s fine if you’re jealous, but don’t constantly push it on him. If you see a picture of him with a girl go ahead and give it a like! There’s no crime, in that, chances are you’re the reason behind that smile! Don’t drag him down. You know what I mean by this. If you’re having a bad day don’t rant about it endlessly. It’s fine if you tell him about it, but let him know that in those bad moments you thought of him to cheer you up! If you’re randomly missing him or just thought of him, let him know. A quick text is fine. You do not have to speak everyday. In case you forgot, you have a life and he does too. The time apart gives you guys time to experience things that you can talk about later, challenge each other, try something he likes and vice versa. That way you guys can grow together. That way you guys can become even better individuals. Respect each others views and opinions. Dont try to shove your thoughts into his head and let him know that he can’t do it either. It’s okay to disagree, talk about your reasoning on the topic and understand his view, if you don’t agree that's okay. Move on and respect it.  Don’t bring up past things, yes they happened, move on. Life does not go in reverse neither should you. Appreciate what he does for you, even if you think he can do more. He did what he believes is his best and you should thank him for it. Be his biggest supporter. I know you can’t physically be at his soccer games, but you can send him a cute text saying you’re cheering him on from home. Do those little things and I am sure they mean the world to him. Don’t compare him. OHMYGOSH don’t do this. Don’t you dare! He’s giving you the best of him and you need to accept that. He chose you out of everyone, just like you did with him. He can walk away just as easily as you can, don’t be a b**** about it.  If you’re having an argument let him know that he bothered you and you need a bit of space. It’s better to back off and feel a little embarrassed than to rage and apologize for saying things you can’t take back. Be honest with him. If you want him to be honest with you. Let him know that he causes you to want to be a better person. There’s no shame.  Love him with all you can. Don't forget though, that the love you have for yourself is first. If he ever and I highly doubt this will happen, but if he ever mistreats you, walk away. You don’t deserve that, even if you think that’s love. You've been through that, you know the warning signs, and I am not gonna let you go back to that hell.  I strongly believe that all those rejections led you to this. Led you to him. Led you to this incredible thing that is occurring in your life and I am so proud of you for being so mature about this. You finally got it right.