As an average high school senior, I am looking forward to college and leaving my juvenile self behind. I am happy to shed my old, tattered skin and grow my own for the first time. But in doing so, I still want a social life, for the time being. That meaning I want a good group of friends as well as a boyfriend. Now I know the stereotypically high school girl believes a high school relationship will last forever, but I don’t. I know for a fact my current relationship will be ending right after graduation… or within the next several days. I’d prefer graduation just because it is beyond annoying trying to find a guy in the first place, who is not a complete loser (am I right ladies?).

But beside the point, I am writing because of the current situation I am in. The past few days have been kind of iffy between me and my boyfriend, Ed*. He won’t text me as much as he used to and it just feels like our relationship is going down the toilet and I have a pretty good idea why, it’s just that I am not 100% sure talking can solve anything and I don't know how to talk to him. So I thought if I were able to write down things I’ve learned from previous relationships… and this one, that maybe it would help some of you out there not to make the same stupid mistakes that I have made. ***not all of these have just come from one relationship and I’ve left out issues dealing with sexual topics.

1. Joking around- I always believed one of the best ways to get a guy to like you is to have a great sense of humor. And while that is true, there is a fine line between flirting/kidding and joking around obnoxiously/ like a bro. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made is treating my boyfriend like a guy friend. I used to call him Spanish swear words, talk about disgusting things; and think it was funny. Unfortunately, he found it off putting and irritating. Although he never said anything to me personally, looking back I can tell it wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done.

2. Texting- This is the one I still continue to fail at and I don’t understand why. I am the type of person who is satisfied with a “good morning” “good night” and an occasional “I miss you”. But if I start off a relationship texting every day and getting responded to every minute afterwards, I am more than delighted with that. It’s just when the text stop coming and the “good mornings” or “good nights” cease to exist, I begin to panic. I think I did something wrong. I freak out. I get beyond nervous and anxious and I don’t know what to do. If I text him I feel that I’m being annoying, but if I don’t hear from him, I can’t function. This is still something that I am trying to understand.

3.  Speed of the relationship- I have yet to find the perfect balance; not too fast, not too slow
4. The fam- I have had one successfully relationship in which I’ve met the guy’s family. I am just unsure if the guy wants me to ask to meet them or if he will tell me when he is ready. Although it is not a real big mistake of mine, it’s always been puzzling to me. So the advice I have on this topic is do whatever feels comfortable for you and your partner.

5. Responding to texts- Now this is something that needed its own category apart from “Texting”. My first two relationships I always used to respond right away because I was happy to have a boyfriend and I was unexperienced. But by responding right away, I left to curiosity of the mind, no wonder, no mystic to what I was doing. It made the relationship very dull and boring. My advice would be to play around sometimes, meaning; respond right away or five minutes after he texts, or give it some time until he texts back a second message normally “??”. My only other advice is don’t make him respond twice that he begins to feel like you are ignoring him.

6. Putting pressure on myself- I am the type of person who always takes responsibility for planning things or making things perfect. And just something I’ve learned in life is just that you can’t be the one trying to make everything happen perfectly. Sometimes you need to put a little trust in other people and have some faith that if they really want to be with you then they will take responsibility and do some of the work. Does this always happen the way you want- no, not all the time, but you need to learn to accept that.

7. Availability- This, as well as texting, are two of the hardest things about relationships for me. I always love to be doing something. I always love to be out with good people and having fun. But unfortunately relationships aren’t always supposed to be that way. Whenever you get a text from your significant other asking to hang out doesn’t mean you should all the time. If you miss said person then of course, but after saying yes every time and doing the same old thing, it does begin to get boring for the both of you.

These are just all very basic examples of things I’ve done wrong in relationships as well as things I’d wish I didn’t do. But I want to stress to my readers, something very important. In a relationship, there are two people and in having two people means two people are making mistakes. It is not just me messing things up or my significant other. In a relationship, you are supposed to acknowledge your mess ups, your partner’s mess ups, your short comings, their short comings; but you are supposed to help each other through those short coming and mess ups in order to achieve a goal of creating a happiness for one another, no matter how long that happiness is to last. And whether or not that happiness last for as long as you want it to, you always learn a new lesson from that relationship. And if you take something away from your old relationship and make it better in your new one, well then it wasn’t a failure after all.