Hurt. We all have been hurt, whether lightly or brutally at least once in our entire lifetime. The difference in all human beings is how we accept the hurt. There are some who can accept it with ease. But there are some, like me, who choose to dwell on the hurt. I let the hurt manifest into something bigger than what it actually is. And I know it, but I don’t have the power to do anything to stop the hurt.

I read that to move on, to forget the hurt, we have to do one thing: forgive. Forgiveness may sound easy but how easy it is to forgive someone for metaphorically putting a knife in your heart. The road to forgiveness is long, there are no short-cuts, no highways, just cluttered with our feelings and thoughts.

The truth is, forgiving someone is not easy as one thinks. Can you give someone the same trust again after the person hurt you? It is akin to giving someone a knife and a band-aid, and choosing to believe that the person would never hurt you again. I think it requires a lot of courage to do that. In all honesty, I am not there yet. In fact, I am far from it.

In the past couple of months, I told myself that I could try. I really believed I could. Unfortunately, I faltered. I realized that I couldn’t forgive the person, not yet at least. In that moment of hurt and confusion, something dawned on me. To forgive someone, I first had to forgive myself. I had to untie the knots in my heart, I had to let go of my past and fears. Without doing that, I couldn’t move on. And all the more could I not forgive the people who have hurt me. Because I don’t have the strength and belief in me that the future may be different. That my friends would not hurt me again. Again, I am locked to the chains of my past.

For many of us out there; you may be feeling the same way, have gone through the same thing and learnt to forgive or the person yet to be forgiven. No matter whom you are, you may be in all three positions at different times of your life, but don’t forget that it starts with you. What you are feeling now doesn’t define your future. Only you have the power to define your future. Let your past stay in the past. But bring the lessons learnt into the future. It is only through this way can you continue to learn and grow. It is only then can we turn hatred into love and suffering into joy.

At some point in time, we all end up battered and bruised but that still don’t stop us from trying. I guess that’s what admirable about the human spirit; we don’t give up, not easily at least. This month of December, let’s do some reflection and soul-searching. End 2016 with a bang not with a heavy heart. This December, start on the forgiving path. Come to terms with reality and your wrongdoings. Learn to accept that it has happened. Be at peace with yourself. Forgive yourself for your wrongdoing. Forgive the people who have once hurt you.

By not forgiving yourself or the person who have hurt you, you are only bringing misery to your life. You will be stuck in the past, harping on the hurt. Let your wound heal, who knows something good may come out of this pain.

You must believe that in each of us; we have the ability to heal, to forgive, and to love.