It may seem that pronouns are just words, and no one notices them, but this is actually incorrect. Using someone’s preferred pronouns can decrease suicide, depression and anxiety rates, as well as increase self-esteem. If someone says “I want you to use different pronouns when referring to me”, that person used a lot of courage to say this, and was most likely prepared for the worst. Telling that person that you respect them or that you will try your best to do these things would let a lot of anxiety leave them.

Names are also an important part of respecting someone’s gender identity. Not doing so can have many negative impacts. “Addressing someone by the wrong name or misgendering them…can feel disrespectful, harmful, and even unsafe to the person being misgendered, since misgendering results in marginalization and communicates that a person’s identity is not being seen or respected”, says the National Library of Medicine. As shown here, names are also a key part of respecting someone’s identity. Some TGNB people may choose to rename themselves so their name matches their gender identity, although not all do this. Respecting a name is just as important as respecting someone’s pronouns. This also conveys that incorrect use of pronouns or a name can even be unsafe and harmful. In some cases, misgendering someone could out that person as trans or nonbinary. This is quite dangerous, as people within earshot could be transphobic, which could lead to many different outcomes. Communicating that someone is “not being seen or respected” could make the person feel invalid and even anxious when around the person misgendering them.

 According to The Trevor Project’s 2023 national survey, 21% of transgender and nonbinary (TGNB) youth who live with people who don’t respect their pronouns attempted suicide this year, compared to the 12% of TGNB youth who live with people who respect their pronouns. This demonstrates the difference using a person’s correct pronouns makes. It decreases the probability that TGNB youth will commit suicide by 9%. In The Trevor Project’s 2022 survey, correct usage of names and pronouns was included in the top five most common ways that LGBTQ+ youth felt supported by their parents or caregivers. Feeling supported is incredibly important for anyone when it comes to mental health, and especially so for LGBTQ+ people due to the discrimination, bigotry, and/or ignorance they may deal with on a daily basis.

Some may think that it’s difficult to adjust to using different pronouns or a new name for someone, or in the case of they/them pronouns, that it is not grammatically correct. While it is difficult to adjust to new things, the effect it has on mental health is huge, and with practice, the new pronouns/name will come naturally. In reference to grammar, singular they/them pronouns are grammatically correct. Since 2019, the Merriam-Webster dictionary has included “they” as a pronoun in reference to someone whose gender identity is nonbinary. “They” has even been used as a singular pronoun since 1375, according to the Oxford English Dictionary. 

From basic respect, to mental health, physical safety, and grammar, it is clear that using a person’s correct pronouns and name is exceptionally crucial for TGNB people, including effects on their health like depression and anxiety. Using someone’s correct name and pronouns can even help prevent suicide! Unless someone specifies not to use their correct pronouns/name, it can really help people to just change a few simple words.