Dear Passengers,

Welcome to the Life Train, let it trap you in a ride of which the only way out is death, we don’t recommend this as an option. This super long high tech train constantly being filled with new passengers shall take you on the ride of a lifetime, yes chuckle freely. We will force you through the tunnels of the bizarre times examples, “The Millennium: New Expectations, Higher Standards” or “2010: Wave and Weep Goodbye to the Decade”. Oh what a joyous ride it was until we invented the lunch cars and made you mix with other generations.
To the younger kids who kissed morals and beliefs goodbye and by God made innocence look tainted, your elders would like to remind you there is absolutely no need for losing your virginity before fourteen, let alone eighteen and please put down the alcoholic beverages, the smokes, and the joints, we have enough people sticking their heads out the windows non- influenced and we don’t need you joining them.
Keep the drama and violence inside of your cabins the rest of us don’t want to know what you are fighting about. We have a good enough clue without you whining about it in public places. Also, keep in mind, respect can work wonders for you. Treat people respectfully, the worst thing that could happen is you get into a jam and they are all that’s left for help. Good Luck living and remaining STD free.

Thank you,
Your Conductor