Don’t be hurt, angry or surprised when your kid turns 18 and they forget to call or come home every Christmas. You don’t have the right to do that. Don’t get mad when they stop answering your calls or refuse to see you. You did what was legally asked of a parent, but you weren’t there for them. You weren’t there for them when they tried swallowing a bottle of pills at twelve and when you did find out you were angry. You weren’t there when your kid had a relapse and a panic attack so you yelled and screamed “what did I do to deserve this”. You don’t listen. You don’t support. You aren’t there for her when she tries talking to you about sex and all you do is get angry.  All she’s doing is consulting you for advice despite the fact she’s still a virgin. Do not get angry when they turn fifteen and stop eating at the dinner table every night because when they do they end up being criticized for being slobs and pigs. No one likes that treatment and that is hardly being a parent. You deny your child’s cries for help so don’t expect to be loved and praised when they leave. You were everything to that child until you stopped listening. So don’t get hurt when they stop telling you things. The good and the bad. Like their first kiss or when they felt so hopeless they drank an entire bottle of brandy at thirteen and ended up barfing all over themselves. They woke up hung over at 4 am and cleaned everything themselves so you wouldn’t find out.  But you don’t know about that, because if they told you, you wouldn’t acknowledge the lesson learned, you would call them stupid and irresponsible. The point is they can’t confide in you with heavy details of their life, and you are missing out. Big time. They’ll cut you off and you won’t know why but they tried to tell you this entire time. You wouldn’t listen, you weren’t there. Now they are gone and you weep in your bed at night wondering what went wrong. Don’t be hurt or angry when your kid turns 18 and they forget to call.