Before I moved  to Pittsburgh I lived in Squirrel Hill and I went to Tree of Life synagogue until I was about 10 or 11 years old. I knew so many people in the congregation and when I left I was so sad. I remember thinking that the rabbi was god, when I imagine god I think of a tall guy with a white beard, and that’s what my old rabbi looked like. I also remember that after every service we went to he would give my siblings and I stuffed animals, to this day I still have one of them in my room.

Years later on October 27, 2018, I was at home watching the news with my family when my sister ran in the front door screaming. We asked her what was happening and she said that there had just been a shooting at Tree of Life but none of us believed her because it wasn’t on the news yet. She said that her friend sent her a snap saying that she lived near the synagogue and that she heard sirens and gunshots. We later found out that 11 people died in the shooting at The Tree of Life Synagogue. My family and I were devastated and my parents didn’t turn off the news for the next week. 

I remember the Friday after the shooting we all went to Adat Sholom, a synagogue near us in Fox Chapel. We were pulling into the parking lot and we saw about 200 people standing there holding candles in silence. My mom started crying right when she saw the first candle. I didn’t cry because it still didn’t feel real to me. 

About two weeks after the shooting my whole family went to the memorial outside of the synagogue and that’s when it hit me. I started sobbing when I saw all of the cards and flowers and signs. I couldn’t believe how real it was. It made me scared to go to synagogue. I would have nightmares about needing to hide in the bathrooms. 

After the shooting, my sister created a non-profit organization called gunday Monday. She became famous for gun violence prevention and was featured in a UN documentary. It was actually kind of cool that she was being filmed like that. 

This tragic incident changed our lives forever but it made me realize how many people that are not Jewish see us and stand with us. It made me feel happy to be Jewish.