From such a young age, we've all been taught that happiness is supposedly meant to be this big, all-consuming thing. It is awarded to do and that it is a gift from this world. That it is something we are always in pursuit of receiving. It is the euphoric moment that our heart finally feels whole when all the pressures and burdens of this worldly life are swept off our shoulders. 

From this mindset comes the waiting. Constantly waiting for this electrifying experience to happen, this simplifying in life, this 'aha!' moment where all the hurt has left, and it is finally time for growth. 

But I don't think happiness is big or infinite. It's not something awarded to us and will instantly heal all the wounds in life. I believe honest, genuine, and raw happiness exists in accepting that this life is not a bed of roses, we will never absolutely be able to rid our lives of the dark within us. I think real, genuine, and raw happiness exists in the quiet. In the small things. From the taste of the bittersweet orange juice, I have in the morning, to the light crescent moon shining like a silvery claw in the night sky. The small things in life aren't tiny. These small, memorable moments become the cornerstones of our daily lives. True happiness is all around you, every day, pinned and blooming in the things you stopped paying attention to because of your drive to find more—flowers on your walk to school. The intensity in the air when you meet someone and you know they’re going to change your life. The way your heart beats faster and faster when your favorite song comes on. 

Neither do I think happiness is something that you can find or that it is this destination you are to reach, and you are bulletproof and unaffected by the mayhem. I think the mayhem in our lives will always exist— we are made from it. Instead, I think happiness exists in the understanding that the pain we feel holds just as much importance as beauty. I believe happiness exists in finding the things that make us feel known and unique and at peace in this world, no matter how minor they feel. I believe happiness exists in learning how to embrace the dark and how to see it as the very thing that makes us appreciate the light in our lives.