The Promenade of Daydreams | Teen Ink

The Promenade of Daydreams

May 27, 2009
By Griffinwing SILVER, Manchester, Michigan
Griffinwing SILVER, Manchester, Michigan
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Twirling twice around and around,
In a world which has no sound.
And where magic’s life is slight,
I feel anger’s poison bite.

The power I have stored in the void,
The void is black and can destroy,
Can this rage-fire I avoid?

Does this mean my life is doomed?
As I stand in this darkened room,
The darkened void that I escape,
From fury’s grasp soon I awake.

Let the blood flow, my mind, it screams,
The haunting of lurid daydreams,
A person’s never what they seem.

Dancing, dancing, my mind’s a trap,
I must stop spinning before I snap.
And as I whirl I do regret,
Because of the joy I’ve known and I’ve met.

I must let go and fall asleep,
And hope these fears away I weep,
And nevermore constrict my heart so deep.



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This article has 6 comments.


on Sep. 6 2009 at 4:09 pm
AmillamissPriscilla GOLD, Randolph, Maine
12 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do what you love in the most adventurous way and make sure it helps people.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Jul. 17 2009 at 4:42 am
SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
10 articles 0 photos 297 comments
Hey, good work! However, I tripped over the bumpy rhythm in the fourth stanza. Perhaps you could fix that by adding a few syllables to the middle line. I unno, maybe it's just me, but it's really good otherwise! (:

on Jun. 16 2009 at 2:34 am
Griffinwing SILVER, Manchester, Michigan
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments
I know Surrealist 14 and I very much appreciate your review. I like getting feedback a lot.

Surrealist14 said...
on Jun. 15 2009 at 12:55 am
Surrealist14, Greenville, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 50 comments
Hey, I was just giving feedback. Like a wise man once said: "If you see only what is perfect, it will make you feel good, but if you see what is to be fixed, only then can you get better" or something like that.

on Jun. 13 2009 at 6:31 pm
cmoney1994 PLATINUM, Newark, New Jersey
20 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be the best you an be as you can see i try to be by writing poetry.

I Love it despite what Surrealist14 said. Check out my poem Marriage

Surrealist14 said...
on Jun. 11 2009 at 8:31 pm
Surrealist14, Greenville, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 50 comments
its a really good peice, but you use the word void to many times, and the line: "Can this rage-fire i avoid" doesnt make much sense