this was a piece that i wanted to write i guess you could say to bring up and out of the shadows was up and some of the comments i felt that it didnt matter if i had different thoughts going because this social poem to to bring up different social issues and everyone of the issues that i brought up are issues that are in the United States so i like to say that thanks for the comments and if anyone has a question on why i did a certain thing in my poem please comment me and ill try to comment back to any of your questions A.S.A.P

so comment anytime you like and ill comment you

girl i totally agree with this although a lot of the ones who wrote to you had some critism im not going to say any critism i thought this was an awesome piece girl you did you thing you have tones of passion for what you do. i have read all of your pieces and this one takes the cake you go girl;



holla throw your hands up

I agree with you jaquie, about how it is much worse other places and that we should be greatful, but it is still terrible in a lot of ways here, and writing stuff like this sends the message thet we won't settle for better than the worst.

I totaly disagree i thought you captured your ideas in a very well thought out manor. i really like this poem and i put it in my favorites for my about me. :)

i like your poem-you really got into an issue we are all facing

i also like your idea, but i thought the way you presented could have been better. i like the points you mentioned, and i agree with you on a lot of them. with a little more creativity and practice, you could improve greatly. good work :) comment back please!

You have a good start here and I like the pattern of the poem. But the poem compares completely different things, such as a gay person being called names and a child dying from hunger and disease. Since the issues discussed are so varied, it is hard to group them into the same poem. If the topics were more focused, perhaps on political issues or hunger issues or whatever issues, the poem would be clearer and easier to follow. But overall, I enjoyed the pattern and rhythm to your poem. It has a lot of potential! :)

I like the idea but some of the

I thought your poem was very nice, and well written. I think perhaps your views are a bit skewed. (I say this in hopes that you'll listen to mine without criticism; as I did to yours.) No, our government is not perfect. No; it isn't even close. I'm not saying I support it... But I am saying that they're trying at least. Someone, somewhere has good intentions for our country. No, we don't support gays in our country. But we give them opportunities that they can't find many others places. No, we're not perfect. But if we just suck it up and be greatful... So many people in the world would kill to be where we are now. A place where we can share our religion and views. Chances are if we live here we have more than 95% of the world. Thats how many people struggle to find a meal each day. Do you think they care about gay rights? What your doing here is complaining about a paper-cut on your finger when your actually dying from internal bleeding. Yes, the issues that you brought up were very pressing and require a moment of thought and action. But when you compare the benefits of either fighting for two guys to get married or for children in Africa, and China, and thousands of places I don't even know the names of; who are starving and dying. It makes you wonder doesn't it. I know what I'd rather fight for. You say that we aren't free. And you won't be free unless you let go of your worries and complaints about what you have. When you let go of the mundane and make it through the day, fed, healthy, and alive. When those rights are threaten then you can complain. Because right now, the only thing your a slave to is yourself. I really did enjoy your piece. Keep writing and don't loose your passion.

God bless,

...,