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Autumn
I notice. I notice the small imperceptible things that most ignore.
The way the shadow falls on the clock face as the hands move, informing me of the slight curve of the hands as they rotate away the seconds, minutes, and hours of life.
I notice how good he is with his hands, moving me with an almost magical ease.
I notice my heart.
I notice its treachery as he moves me, around him, the flutter disappearing as I remember he’s not mine to flutter for.
I notice the way her fingers hover over the keyboard, her index finger resting lightly on a key, while the others remain suspended; resigned as she thinks.
I notice how the drama of everything excites the groups in the halls.
I notice the quirks and individualities of the people around me.
Every sigh
Every head nod
Every look shared between people.
They’re open books and yet there are distinct idiosyncrasies in their plotlines.
Unique, similar, beautiful, different.
The Introvert, Extrovert, Ambivert and their qualities
I might be a wallflower, but I see it all.
I see how they think,
how they feel.
The way the eyes flick down, then up to take in my appearance in a skirt.
Subtle, but noticeable enough.
The way we notice each other, the silent, poorly timed stares creating an unspoken attraction between two people if only we were brave enough.
The way he stares, unblinking as I inch closer, clearly in his vision, and yet he’s not looking at me.
The small ways we study each other, searching for a lie where there are just too many to tell which one is the truth.
Which ones we consider the truth.
I notice the mask behind the masks we have to wear.
The sweetness in her voice
The things I hide that lurk in the depths my soul at
The way his eyes light up at the mention of her name.
I notice.
I watch.
I let it all unfold.
I evolve, adapt, and grow.
But I never react to what happens
I never take action
I was born to hide in this extreme, energetic, society that pinned me against this wall.
Destined to be alone until someone else who’s hiding, someone else who understands, comes along.
I’m not sorry and I never will be.
They’ll be happy.
I won’t let it destroy me.
I notice everything from the shadows.
Did you ever notice me?
Will you ever notice me?
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