This past year, I've gone through many changes in life that I wasn't prepared for, and I found myself socially isolating from those I loved and that loved me. It had become my new normal to live in my own head during quarantine and I started doing that whenever things got rough. Pulling myself away from all social interaction because it was scary. This year, I was shy and would watch people in their friend groups and I would catch myself tearing up at their laughter, because I wanted that. Wanted people to laugh with, spend time with, and care for. I wanted to reach out and make friends, but I felt like I didn't know how to anymore. I felt like there was a MUCH higher chance of social rejection from anyone I could try to be friends with, and that lead me to find creative ways to convince myself I liked my own company. I was alone, which was great for a while if I'm being honest! But then that alone time turned into a level of loneliness I'd never quite experienced. It was just me and my thoughts all the time and when I thought of something that made me chuckle, I wanted someone to share that with. I'd turn to search for someone to share it with, pulling out my phone and searching there to no avail. I'm working on healing this mindset, this "new normal" that socially isolating has become for me, and the first step to that is reaching out to the friends I do have and asking for their help. I've had two years to feel lonely, and I'm ready to change that because I don't have to be. There are people who care about me if I'd only have the courage to reach out, and for me, it's time.  

(I'm fully aware that this has strayed away from the prompt and writing theme of the contest, but I'm pleased with my work regardless. It was fun to give this a try even though I know it will be for moot in the end. :)