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Stop The Violence MAG
Drugs all over under the ground.
Guns, people crying, putting each otherdown.
People every day do crazy things.
Buying fancy cars and a lot ofrings.
You have nothing to show for yourself.
You're dying on the inside,and you have bad health.
I wonder what the community can do.
I have noidea, not even a clue.
I look in the paper and I see someone dead.
They layon the stretcher like it was a bed.
The mothers stand in silence.
Peopleshould think TO STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!
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This article has 198 comments.
MaddieGrizz SILVER said...
on Apr. 17 2018 at 1:24 pm
This Has an Amazing message, but You could improve on some spelling and small grammar errors; but other than that this is AMAZING!!!!!
on Dec. 14 2017 at 2:49 am
this really is an amazing poem
WritingAddict03 SILVER said...
on Oct. 25 2017 at 2:17 pm
That stinks! Sorry about that.
IMjustTht said...
on Sep. 29 2016 at 3:41 pm
who ever created this did an amazing job and should be a writer or it should be published in something but very good job to whom it may concern.
DeadlyConcerns said...
on May. 7 2015 at 8:20 pm
If A world without violence existed, there would be no people in it. That would be because even the people who believe in violence believe they are right. The people against violence think they are in the right, but no one tells either which side is right because both sides are made up of people. The same people who make the laws and the same people who believe they are right.You are talented though. I hope the magazine prints your poem in the issue this month
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 20 2015 at 12:44 pm
This is absolutely, powerful and amazing and true. We should stop the violence. I love that it your poem has honesty and rawness and truth and bravery and strength and beauty in it; and just so much. I'm not sure sure how to explain it, but your poem is powerful and wonderful and has lot in it. You have such talent and greatness and light and a beauty that is your own; and so much. You're an amazing and talented and beautiful writer and person. All of this and just so much more. Thank you so much for sharing this, my friend! Congrats on having this published in Teen Ink's magazine because you truly deserve it. Thank you, again. :)
sunniesk said...
on Jul. 3 2014 at 8:40 am
good idea for the poem, a bit better composition needed
bioncaj1982 said...
on May. 14 2014 at 10:57 pm
This poem was oiriginally written by me I don't know what happened cause chunksof thepoem are taken out and also bunched together next time I'll know to be more careful of whom I let read my work.
jenni said...
on May. 7 2014 at 5:15 pm
i now wath violence feels bicues i have gon true all of does stuff but i have a very good canceler that always one my sid to help me wiht vilence or bully . Does are reasons why i love your poem and thers no wone in this world that as not ever ben by bully or vilence and my school were my favorite canceler is in Burleson Elementry her name is MRS.maguare goo poem and bye text me rate now
to me the message isn't exactly clear but the poem flows well. I just wish that it was looked over because all the words are mushed together which distracts from the message and poem. And even if it is cliche, and I guess it is a little, cliche doesn't mean bad. Not all of the poem goes together kind of as in it feels like i'm reading two poems that were put together that have similar meanings. So yes, I think it needs work but most poems do. Overall, good job.
Tornado Misha BRONZE said...
on Sep. 4 2013 at 4:13 pm
K, sorry for sounding brutal if I did.
writingriver05 SILVER said...
on Sep. 3 2013 at 6:40 pm
And by the way when your calling the poem "A Troll" Then dont say "Im pratically convinced he is a troll."
writingriver05 SILVER said...
on Sep. 3 2013 at 6:33 pm
you know what I realized that i dont want to fight with you. I just wanted to do what I thought was right. What i know is right. If that means letting you win the argument then im okay with that. I like to see the best in people. The best in everything so i would like to be the first to say. IM SORRY:)
Tornado Misha BRONZE said...
on Sep. 2 2013 at 7:05 pm
*facedesk* One thing I scorn is when someone accuses me for somthing I never said. I have found the message. It's blatantly obvious. Judging a book by its cover? In this case, that would be refusing to read or being prejudiced against a poem which has a plain or ugly cover image and an unappealing title. I have read this poem several times and each one is as dull as the next. -_-' Of course I don't know who he/she is. But I am not judging them. I am judging their childish poem, just as one ascertains the value of a particular piece of art. Also, when you argue with me, try to use proper grammar, ok?
writingriver05 SILVER said...
on Sep. 2 2013 at 4:33 pm
What happened to judging a book by its cover? You have no idea who this person is. You dont have the right to call him a troll. and if you just dug a little deeper I think you would find the message underneath.
Tornado Misha BRONZE said...
on Sep. 1 2013 at 9:15 am
The topics is incredibly trite. I can only imagine how many third-graders have used this topic to write something quick which would satisfy the teacher with a "good message" as you say. It wasn't even done in an interesting way. Just find a few random words which relate to violence. Now, make them rhyme. Third, create the most obvious sentences with them and lastly, add a bunch of grammar mistakes. That's basically what the poem is. Can any of you tell me specifically what the author has done well? Not effort, I can assure you. Look at all the mashed up words he could have divided with a simple read-through. I'm practically convinced he is a troll.
writingriver05 SILVER said...
on Aug. 31 2013 at 8:09 pm
I think your wrong this is a good topic and there is always something positive to say
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