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Time - The Key to Life

April 9, 2010
By EmoAnon GOLD, Westport, Indiana
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EmoAnon GOLD, Westport, Indiana
16 articles 1 photo 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Money cannot buy happiness but it can buy choices." - Mrs. Renyolds (Cosmetology)

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The clock mocks my heartbeat loudly
Moving in rhythm ever so proudly
Thump....tick....thump....tick
Then a spark of something flicks
Something bright, soft and glowing silently
Beauty within showing so violently
Something in my soul I did not pick
Grasping my hear, feeling so sick
Light dimming, heart slowing rapidly
Clock mocking, Mocking so rudely
My heart finally giving a last kick
Tick....thump....tick....tick....tick

© Rachel U., Danbury, CT

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This article has 1 comment.

UnderstandMEClearlyNOW PLATINUM said...
on May. 18 2010 at 3:36 pm
UnderstandMEClearlyNOW PLATINUM, Fayetteville, North Carolina
23 articles 14 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty; Madness is genius. It is better to be absolutely ridiculous then totally boring~~Marlin Monroe

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It would be stronger if you didn't rhyme and then get off rhyme. Pick a rhyme scheme and stick with it. Maybe add some assonance instead of rhyming. Also comment on my work??? :) I like your style (maybe you'll like mine)