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Ships and Birds
All this talk of mocking birds,
Where are all the doves?
When revision becomes complacent
And words are not enough.
I can not fathom the fathoms
Of the anchor that keeps me sane;
But ever so slowly, its been pulling
Up on the disintegrating chain.
My voice is hoarse from yelling
Out for Noah's dove.
My heart is hoarse from yelling
Out for the undeniable love.
The love for which these ships
Bask in an unfailing sun;
Yet mine is going nowhere,
And still it is almost done.
The rutter is underperforming,
The mask is broken in half.
Much like my hopes of returning
To where I was resident last.
Pictures in frames that are broken,
Cracked from the bitter waves,
Prove that at the time of my sinking,
I was already perusing the graves.
To my own death I offered friendship,
We can only say the refusal was net.
Tossed overboard, the water seemed starved,
And eyes closed, body shaking wet,
My dove I had long awaited
Flew overhead, and if it could talk,
It would say, "I tried to war you,"
Because in the end, all birds mock.
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This article has 16 comments.
simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!
THIS POEM WAS HORRENDUS
just kidding. Really it was incredible--I mean I think I liked it so much because it reminds me so much of my style of writing poetry and I think I could really relate to the meaning of it.
That said I only understood half of it, which I think is a sign of it being a great literary masterpiece because it seems that every poem that has a few lines or stanzas that stump people become something that critics and literary professors wet their pants over.
Was it flawless? Absolutely not--there's plenty of things you could tweak and work on but I'm afraid I'm not an expert enough on poetry to know for sure what they are. I think that good poetry is written the way the writer wants it to and it sounds best in his/her mind and any d-bag critic that says it sucks because they don't like the way something looks or sounds is just as right or wrong as anyone.
So yeah if this was my poem I'd love it but I'd be unsatisfied with a couple of lines here and there and I'd tweak em a little bit. But I don't know if it's right for me to tell you that you should tweak with them because it's poetry and one can never be 100% sure what poetry is supposed to mean even if he/she wrote it.
But in the last stanza did you mean to say "I tried to warn you" if so you have a typo lol
