on a sunny October day
I fell hard
I lost my balance
and skinned my knee
on the hard, rough surface
known as hate

it left me with a gash
the size of Africa
tie-dye oozed from
the fragments of skin
but I didn't cry out in pain
like they do in movies
I sat there,
silent,
quiet,
hateful

I dug the wound deeper
with the hoe from your mom's garden
as she screamed bloody murder
I tried to rip all of you
from me

to the ordinary eye
I had only made things worse
in my eyes
it was fantastic

I wanted a big damn gory
mess
a Passion of Christ mess
I wanted to crucify you
for nothing
I wanted all sanity
spilled out on the floor
in front of me,
visible,
where I could ruin it at arm's length

I wanted no help, only
the dirt and asphalt as my friends,
the black tar to dissect you
from me
don't record my last words
don't
they'll only be of hatred,
beyond repair
like a suicide
on a sunny October day