Flying machine | Teen Ink

Flying machine

April 23, 2013
By PriyaModi BRONZE, Indore, Other
PriyaModi BRONZE, Indore, Other
1 article 7 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
I like the way i am,need no transformation,,,LOVE LIFE.


The perfect cloudless blue and this Europe sky,

A breezy-mildly weather and yes, i was in cloud nine,

And there came Wright's machine,

As an eye catcher, They stuck me in ambitious spirit,

I desired i could be the one riding that flying machine.


The author's comments:
Sometimes life offers us the moments that make our goals sharp right on, then no one can stop us to fly.

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This article has 3 comments.


on May. 17 2013 at 3:09 am
Just-Another-Girl GOLD, Keighley, Other
17 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
- &quot;A coward may survive...but a hero..a hero lives on in the hearts of the people he saved&quot;<br /> <br /> - &quot;Words don&#039;t have the power to hurt people, unless the person who said it means a lot&quot;<br /> <br /> -<br /> You say that love is nonsense. I tell you it is no such thing._

Okay. So firstly there is an error in the verse about cloud nine. It should be ON cloud nine not in it. Besides from the it seems too simple. The simplicity doesn't do the piece justice I think it would benefit from more complex ideas and using more poetic devices. For example a metaphor or simile couldn't go wrong. However all that aside I did like the way it was structered even though it needed complecity it still struck me! I was drawn in as a reader and left wanting more! I like the use of description also! Well done and don't give up

on Apr. 26 2013 at 6:15 am
Hamzawaseem GOLD, Lahore, Other
15 articles 1 photo 144 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The important thing is not to stop questioning.&quot; ~Einstein

I like the ambitious touch to the poem. The thoughts were expressed. But I would like to advise you to write simple verses and master them first. Then go for complex ones.  P.S.: Never quit writing. Quitters never win and winners never quit.

on Apr. 25 2013 at 11:58 pm
larissaecm SILVER, Victoria, Other
7 articles 0 photos 44 comments
i love the rythme you put in this! Its wonderful! Keep writting!