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On Poetry
July 4, 2013
Words written in a line rhyming every time,
Spoken from the heart, brought from the dark,
But it’s not enough for the sharks that hide in the water,
Absurd how they take apart every word
Butcher my work and take my rhymes to slaughter,
Let me see them live in a rhyme
Or climb the mountains I climb,
I put my spirit into every lyric,
Let them tremble and fear it,
Write my poems to show them,
Emotions-sad, happy, mad-I know them,
Words like seeds I sow to grow and see what they can be,
They mean everything to me,
Write me a line, scribble me some poetry,
Splatter those words onto that page,
Shatter these chains, open this cage and set me free.
© Lashieta F., Kannapolis, NC
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 10 comments.
lackadaisicalwolf said...
on Jul. 26 2013 at 4:32 pm
I think it's cool how you wrote about writing, I don't think many people do that. Good job :)
MeggieMills SILVER said...
on Jul. 26 2013 at 4:25 pm
Wow. I'm impressed! The Rhymes are great. The words are awesome! Poetry is only magic when its beautiful and let me say that this one was beautiful. KEEP WRITING!!!!
I am so glad you randomly said this because I enjoyed your comment very much, Kait. I definitely will watch my commas next time as it does seem excessive here. I can work with 4 out of 5 stars. I am now more than motivated to improve. Thank you for being honest.
I am just going to randomly say this... I am so happy this piece is better than Naruto's pieces; hers are too dense, do not have correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, capitalization and the such, while yours have interesting, constructive words that build the piece up, a firm structure, such as rhyming and such, and a greatly built stanza, and I love the flow of your pieces. Although, I did see something that I did not really like, so I took off a star. Don't worry, I still think this piece is good. Your piece seemed butchered, with constant commas abstructing the flow of the piece. You do not always need a comma to continue a sentence in poetry; it can flow nonetheless. Other than that, I saw nothing, besides the fact there is not another stanza, although you do not need one. Although more than one stanza is recommended in work, you can have one really long stanza, as long as it is not too dense and such. Thank you for writing this. Four out of five stars. Keep writing! -Kait[lyn]
OneSmallWorld BRONZE said...
on Jul. 25 2013 at 3:41 pm
GREAT JOB CHRONO ;P
hopeofyale BRONZE said...
on Jul. 16 2013 at 7:14 pm
So touching !!
