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Consuming Fear
These things I’ll never say
They mean more now than they did before
These words unspoken are meant for you and only you
Say them I will not do, but knowing you, you know
These words must stay unspoken for my protect me
My protection is important to me, it heals the pain from past mistakes
The pain I swore would never go away
Just know that these words would change everything
The pain and hurt are haunting me
They haunt me ‘til I give in and let the tears fall and the blood flow
This is immortal sin!
The ghosts of yesterday make me feel so f***ing low
They kick and scream ‘til I finally open my door and my wall crumbles
The wall was unbreakable before you
It only crumbled when I gave up, which was often at that point
You had changed me, changed how I saw life
They never rest, always haunting me
Always wanting to see me break
You make it easier to hold together, to stay strong
Who knew I’d been in the dark so long?
I had no one left to hear my pleas, to hear me break
These things I’ll never say, never say to your face
They mean more now than they ever did before
These words are meant for you and you alone
Say them I will not do, but knowing you I know you know
These words must stay unspoken for my protection
My protection is important to me, it heals the pain from past mistakes
The pain that I swore would never go away
Just know these words would change everything, would change us
The pain and hurt are haunting me
They haunt me until I give in and let the tears fall, and the blood flow
The ghosts of yesterday make me feel so f***ing low
So fucking low can’t stand it anymore
They kick and scream until I open the door and my wall crumbles
The wall was unbreakable up until you
It only crumbled when I gave up, but now it’s every time I see you
You have changed me, changed how I see life
These things I’ll never say
They would change everything, change you and me
Forever
The fear of them eats away at me, dares me to say them
If I do, will I be hurt? Will I have to suffer again?
The fear is unbearable, it makes me fear seeing you
The words hang on my tongue threatening to come out if I open my mouth
Why do you think I’m so quiet with you?
All I can think is damn he’s amazing
But I’m afraid I’d be hurt and never return from my hiding place where I was in for so long
The place I called home before I met you
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This is a song I wrote about losing my best friend who was also my crush at the time. Yes, it's kind of dark but that's me. Hope you enjoy!