I’m so emotionally worn right now
But no one seems to see just how much. People
Have just become allergies, trying to make me sick,
Unwell,
Trying to make me react.
And I’ve just sat back questioning it all. Guess I knew the truth
All along; that people are that fake, mean and cold. Colder than ice used to cool off.
The mind games, the words, the hurt people punctured into me like
Nails on a drilling spree
But I’ve stood, I had too
My legs shaky at first but I’m getting balance…and stepping away from
All the hatred and drama
I just want to subside to my house, erase all the things and all the ugliness
People have scribbled on my heart, mistaking it for a
Drawing board reset my mind that they mistook for a game they could play
And the wind silencing, heart-bombing, tear shaming thing I name pain to belittle wreck
Me from the inside like an unruly beastly baby in me,
I know that good will be born from it. That the stump will bear branches, the
Wilted flower a fruit, the aching back and wasted tears; new life.
And I will recall these dishearten and life questioning moments as
Only joy
Only fertilizer to make me grow into something I never knew I could be.
But it all seems to be a vision that is too far from the present,
But I have to believe in this vision,
I have to see this vision
Or what will be left for me to live for?