In sixth grade I was original

After that 

Well not so much.  

I wore tutus and knee socks 

And the wrong kind of converse, apparantly. 

I had one best friend in my class and the rest were from theater

I was essentially the only actress in my...grade? 

I got the wrong looks 

Every day 

I was on a team with the 50 most popular girls in my grade 

And I hated it

I was beaten down 

Burned out 

And now  

I wear vineyard vines 

And uggs 

I wear converse 

But the right kind 

So I get the right kind of looks 

Which 

I guess 

Are no looks 

Because I don’t want to be noticed 

Anymore 

I arm myself with expensive brands that nobody can really afford but we buy them 

I walk through my day 

Accepted 

Enough 

I still talk too much 

I’m working on that 

I talk too much and suddenly even this 50$ tee shirt can’t mask 

That I’m just a theater kid 

A tutu wearing 

Knee sock loving 

Theater kid. 

But I make it through the day 

Accepted 

Enough

I walk into the auditorium for play practice 

I sing and dance and act and talk 

And talk 

And talk 

And I don’t worry about talking too much 

Because here what I have to say is valued 

I wear my knee socks and my tutu proudly and I will only change here

If there is another dance number 

Not to be accepted 

Because your family always accepts you. And this is my family. 

Seventh grade I was normal enough 

I was a caterpillar newly a butterfly 

These new wings felt oversized 

But oversized is cool right now, right? 

Is my t shirt too oversized or just oversized enough because Kayla told Kylie that Ella had said that it was....

I hope this Nike gym bag hides the fact that I’m not an athlete 

Because I should be an athlete 

Who isn’t an athlete 

The kids at my school don’t know we have a school musical 

Unless you’re in it 

Which you aren’t 

I care too much 

Too 

Much 

I realized then I talked too much 

Too

Much 

Too loud 

Too animated 

I am supposed to talk in hushed tones about other girls 

But that I don’t do 

I’m supposed to be quirky 

But not...theater quirky 

Haha 

I’m wearing two different Victoria’s Secret flip flops quirky

I still. love. theater. 

I sing and I dance and I act my fears away

On stage I feel 

At home 

The play was fine 

But by the April Musical I wanted to fit in 

I talked about it too much 

I tried to socialize with a few low tier popular girls who happened to stumble into the musical 

Ugh 

Don’t mix theater and being normal 

Seventh grade I figured that out.

Now I’m going into 8th grade 

And I realize

I’m becoming normal 

In my own way 

I’ve bought enough Victoria’s Secret this summer, to fit in. 

I’m ready. 

Leggings 

T shirts 

Converse 

Uggs 

I’m talking less 

Saving it for theater 

For NJHS 

For a capella 

For chorus 

I have sprinklings of originality left in me 

My t shirts have feminist sayings on them 

My leggings, are admittedly normal 

But my converse are colored bright blue 

So 

I’m so edgy 

I chose a different color of 60$ privileged kid shoes 

Wow 

Who is she

Can you tell im being sarcastic? 

I am occasionally filled with a fiery anger 

And wanting for the person I used to be 

But now 

I am the person That the world made me 

Eighth grade, I hope that sticks. 

I’m happy 

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been 

Because I figured out 

That to be accepted 

You hide the deepest and well, realest parts of yourself 

Most of the time 

And then 

You channel them where it’s maybe gonna be accepted 

Play practice. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. 2:45-5 pm. 

Without you 

I wouldn’t survive.