What I wish you knew | Teen Ink

What I wish you knew

November 6, 2019
By Devocean BRONZE, Scituate, Massachusetts
Devocean BRONZE, Scituate, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes I miss being sick<br /> The grimiest part of me wishes I had stayed<br /> In that familiar city of grey and mental illness<br /> and whatever the opposite of healing is<br /> Where there was nothing to laugh about<br /> but plenty to write about<br /> -Blythe Baird


I wish you knew that my actions are only out of kindness

That I can’t help but ask if you if you are okay when I see that look on your face

The look that makes me wonder who hurt you

And the one that makes me want to comfort you through your pain


I wish you knew that when you smile, I feel happy for a moment

That your genuine glee has me wishing that I could feel that too

The smile that I wish we could share

And maybe one day, we could share a laugh too


I wish that you weren’t lying to me when you said you weren’t mad at me

That you didn’t hate the fact that I apologize for breathing

The way I try and help you

And how you hate that I care


I wish that I was better

That I didn’t keep f***ing things up

The fact that I keep messing up is so incredibly frustrating

And that I was more likable

 

I wish you knew that I now get it

That you would rather me keep my distance

The more distance the better

And what I think you already know is this


You’ve broken me

I have shattered into millions of pieces

And I don’t think you’ll ever bother to even try to put me back together

So I wish I could say I was done with you

But I know that would be a lie

Because not caring isn’t in my nature

And although you don’t want me to

I will always care about you


The author's comments:

So, I'm a new girl at my school and I've never had problems with making friends. Until now. This boy got upset with me for asking if he was ok and ended up having a friend tell me to stay away from him. This hurt me and so, I wrote a poem. 


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