I remember you
With your not-quite-so-long black hair
Your brown eyes
And your endless energy

I remember you
With your cute nose
And dark blue glasses
Your small feet
That never seemed to grow

I remember you
So happy
Always laughing
Always smiling

I miss you

I miss the innocence that you had
The way you lived your life
Without a care in the world

I miss the pureness that you had
Untainted with the dark thoughts
And depression you struggle with today

I miss you

Who I was
Before the jealousy
Before the mistrust
Before the betrayal

Who I was
Before the anger
Before the hurt
Before the lashing out

I miss you

Who I was
Before my world seemed to crumble
Before reality hit
Before I learned that loss is a part of life

I miss the protection from the horrible truths
And actions of
Stories of broken consent
Lies, fibs, manipulations
And wounds to both the heart and the mind
Thoughts to end it all
A fading scar on a wrist

I miss the life that I had lived
Shattered
Into a thousand pieces
And washed away with tears of pain, and sadness

I no longer live with the freedom I had
The mistakes of the past seem to be the guidelines of my future

But I remember
The fieryness that I once had
The smiles that I once smiled
The joy that I once felt
The person who I once was