Sometimes, I like to not take my meds.

It's a sort of punishment,

Ritualistic self sacrificing-

Because i’m too ashamed to kill myself.

Sometimes I like to climb on my roof,

Stand at the very edge and just,

Think about falling off,

Not jumping off- falling.

Like rolling the dice-

On whether to play another round of russian roulette.

Sometimes I stay up all night just to feel like sh*t,

Because it’s better than facing the anxiety of sleeping.

And an easier delierent than benadryl-

Good thing the only withdrawal symptoms are fatigue.

Sometimes, 

I give life a chance.

Every single time I regret it