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The World and It's Annoying, Continuous, Swivel.
Every glare of illumination that she once grasped onto,
had then been misplaced with dingy, ash clouds
which now coats her sky.
Before the thought can even arise,
no, it was not because of any silly guy.
Or, maybe it was.
It was.
But never in the way, one could foresee.
It was about her favorite man.
Her favorite man cooked her favorite meals,
watched movies with her until midnight,
and convinced her that the tooth fairy was real.
It was about the way she knows now
she will never inherit another memory with him,
which brings her so many emotions,
she’s not quite sure which one she should feel.
Now, she sits, aching, as she scrolls endlessly
through a collage of recollection
in hopes to be reminded of one more moment, shared with him.
This farewell has left her sitting alone,
It’s left her to pick and choose the one bright star to become “his”.
At times, she notices the sun’s presence begin to peak through the unlit clouds.
It’s times like these, that make her feel culpable.
An unfamiliar, aggressive, undeclared voice spouts, “how dare you be happy after something like this?”.
She knows this could never be true,
yet somehow she still listens to the passive aggressive voice,
that follows her without choice.
The voice of “grief” which has now permanently replaced her best friend.
This sorrow is inescapable.
She will sit with you at every table.
Greet you at every door.
But, she surely is not undefeatable.
Most frustrating of all,
is how the world chose to continue its swivel,
the night he had to leave.
Leaving her nothing but a memory, some photos, and a few recurring symbols.
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This poem describes a glimpse of grief. Like most of my other poems, this one is also about grieving. In October of last year, I lost my grandfather. The story is truly heartbreaking, but that's a poem for another day. The title derives from how the world continues to "swivel" or keep going, even when mine stopped.