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Darkness
November 26, 2009
I watch the sunset fall
As I prepare for what awaits me
The darkness swallows the city whole as it reaches me
Feeling like forever
Torturing and threatening
Grinning from ear to ear
It reaches my face
It plays its fear game with me
I play the game by the rules
The game is too hard
I give in
I lose
As the darkness
Swallows
Me
ALIVE
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 14 comments.
nessie14 said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 9:56 am
i loved it~!! it was awesome and i feel like you were writing to me about me thanks!
guinea_pig_girl BRONZE said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 8:34 pm
Very creepy, but I loved it, especially the personification, description, topic, and rhythm. I would only take out "as it reaches me", because it throws off the rhythm and "me" is at the end of the line before, too. Overall, one of my favorite poems.
DallysGrrl PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 7:07 pm
Great writing style! u put ur personal fear into this and its great! wow. i think that u really have something here.
Lost-In-Life GOLD said...
on Jan. 24 2010 at 4:42 pm
Once again a fantastic poem! I could say almost the exact same thing as I said on that first one, but I'll spare you having to read it again!
Michellebrain GOLD said...
on Jan. 10 2010 at 7:22 pm
thanks. this was my first poem on here. im glad people actually like it. im pretty much surprised really.
Emily:) said...
on Jan. 10 2010 at 12:51 pm
LOL! I meant 'this is good' not 'this good' lol. 'emily like' LOL *again*
Emily:) said...
on Jan. 10 2010 at 12:50 pm
This good. The human fear of darkness inspires many writers, but you managed to make it your own through personification and analogies. Great!
Michellebrain GOLD said...
on Jan. 4 2010 at 8:26 pm
thanks i really appreciate the feedback!
blanking_out GOLD said...
on Jan. 4 2010 at 3:20 pm
hey alice, this is a pretty good piece of work. it has a clear meaning of the idea that you are trying to portray. how the darkness is effecting you. i like i how you wrote this.
Michellebrain GOLD said...
on Jan. 3 2010 at 9:52 am
thanks. i really appreciate the feedback!
monstrosity BRONZE said...
on Jan. 2 2010 at 9:11 pm
I like the contrast between you and the darkness. It's a really intriguing piece!
Michellebrain GOLD said...
on Dec. 23 2009 at 7:58 pm
how come no ones reading my poem?????
Michellebrain GOLD said...
on Dec. 16 2009 at 5:17 pm
this poem is great!
