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You... MAG

April 29, 2010
By SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
More by this author
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
22 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is a poison, but it is also the antidote."

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You crawled into my mouth
And became the only word to escape my lips.
You overthrew my brain,
And now control my thoughts.
You slipped into my stomach
And filled it up with butterflies
You tickled my lips
And curled them into a smile.
You rubbed against my cheeks
And left an eternal blush.
You snuck into my heart
And built yourself a home.

© Louisa L., Pleasanton, CA

The author's comments:
some one very near and dear to me... too bad they do not know that... :(
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 12 comments.

MayaNelle GOLD said...
on Nov. 23 2014 at 1:11 pm
MayaNelle GOLD, Palo Alto, California
17 articles 0 photos 23 comments
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this poem was so cute good job. it was full of emotion and i loved your repetition (use of the word YOU *cough cough Brooke M*).Anyway, keep writing
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 28 2012 at 9:43 pm
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
22 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is a poison, but it is also the antidote."

View profile
um, this poem was published in the Teen Ink magazine. The repetitive use of the word 'you' was the style of the poem, and maybe YOU should re-evaluate your critique instead of being so quick to rate a PUBLISHED poem 2 stars and not bothering to see the artistic value of it's metaphorical meaning. Thank u for bringing my rating down a star, and have a nice day.
PaigeStreet PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 6:07 pm
PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
47 articles 0 photos 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Stay golden&quot;<br /> - Johnny (The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton)

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This is possibly the best, most expressive and sensual love poem I have read yet on this site. No lie. 
Brooke M. said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 3:09 pm
The poem was good but it created some disturbing images, also maybe YOU could work on expanding your vocabulary as well 2 stars
inkers GOLD said...
on Jul. 28 2011 at 12:19 am
inkers GOLD, Midland, Texas
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Favorite Quote:
&quot;And the lamplight gloating o&#039;er him threw his shadow on the floor... and my soul from out that shadow... shall be lifted, nevermore!&quot; - Poe

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Very awesome work. <3
Alondra BRONZE said...
on Feb. 27 2011 at 7:39 pm
Alondra BRONZE, Edmonds, Washington
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you love something let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be

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This poem is amazing and so true in so many different ways
kelsey2097 SILVER said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 9:06 am
kelsey2097 SILVER, Boothwyn, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
im not a fighter im a lover, but ill fight for what i love

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omg this is so good! you should write more!
collegegirladventures GOLD said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 8:55 pm
collegegirladventures GOLD, Mequon, Wisconsin
10 articles 8 photos 307 comments

Favorite Quote:
A poet&#039;s work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep.<br /> <br /> ~Salman Rushdie

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this is really good. Plz write more! :)
Apeggy BRONZE said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 11:27 am
Apeggy BRONZE, Albion, New York
3 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
A.B.D&quot;A Beautiful Dream&quot;

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This is the sweetest poem i've ever read! you did and outstanding job at wording this. amazing. that's all I can say. 
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 10 2010 at 5:53 pm
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
22 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is a poison, but it is also the antidote.&quot;

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thx for reading my poems! Because so many people write poetry on here, its hard to get noticed. But I really liked your comments and just wanted to let you know that your an amazing fictional novel writer, and if you ever write a book, let me know so I can buy it!
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD said...
on Sep. 10 2010 at 6:14 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don&#039;t believe in hell but I believe in my parent&#039;s couch-- Watsky

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Oh, my gosh!  This is my fav. poem of your so far!!!!!! REALLY< really good!!!

5 million stars!

elfiewrites BRONZE said...
on Jun. 19 2010 at 9:58 pm
elfiewrites BRONZE, Hillsdale, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart.&quot;~William Hazlitt<br /> &quot;Be yourself, everyone else is taken.&quot;

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I think I know who this is about... YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER. keep on writing, please!