I Miss Who She Used To Be | Teen Ink

I Miss Who She Used To Be

July 7, 2010
By MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
37 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong


she pleads
on her knees
for him to take her
she begs
for him to listen
after all the years of silence

please make her stop
her screams and cries
are breaking my heart
her eyes are so lost and emotionless
i miss who she used to be

open her up
and reveal the heart
that doesn't want to beat
rake your fingers through
the veins
she wants to rip apart

peel off her skin
one layer at a time
that she could never do alone
take her breath away
slowly, painfully
and her tortured cries
will come to an end.


The author's comments:
this piece is about how i gave up and wanted to be rid of all the painful thoughts and emotions that filled my mind. its like an outsider telling someone what i couldn't do and asking them to do it for me.

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This article has 17 comments.


on Aug. 26 2010 at 11:47 pm
luckypachyderm SILVER, Medford, Oregon
5 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring- Marlyn Monroe

I really enjoyed reading this. It had a lot of imagery and emotion. Again, very well written

on Aug. 5 2010 at 7:46 pm
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
37 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong

thank you for the kind words :)

on Aug. 5 2010 at 6:11 pm
hello.peaches PLATINUM, Greenfield, Massachusetts
26 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;i don&#039;t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire: i love you as one loves certain dark things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.&quot;<br /> -Pablo Neruda

thank you so much for the comments.

you're a great writer yourself. i especially liked the last stanza in this one. heart wrenching.


on Aug. 4 2010 at 11:37 am
thezebrasgray PLATINUM, Taylorsville, Utah
46 articles 0 photos 231 comments

amazing! the one thing that i would change is take off the last line in the first stanza, or maybe change it.  in my opinion, it doesn't need to be said and it kind of ruins the amazing flow that you have going on.  but definately four stars!

 

if someone could check out my poem: All I Need is... a Comment or Two?  I am really hoping this one to take off.  I'm hoping it might change a couple of things.  But in order for that to happen, i need a comment or two.


on Aug. 2 2010 at 9:53 pm
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
37 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong

oh gosh thanks a bunch :) and i will

on Aug. 2 2010 at 9:52 pm
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
37 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong

oh my gosh thank you :)

Danica SILVER said...
on Aug. 2 2010 at 9:35 pm
Danica SILVER, Avondale, Arizona
7 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It is our choices, that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities.&quot; -- Albus Dumbledore

This is really good! Great use of imagery, it's very vivid -- I especially like "rake your fingers through the veins."  Check out my work sometime? :)

on Aug. 2 2010 at 9:26 pm
VickyLove92 PLATINUM, Green Bay, Wisconsin
41 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
once life gets harsh/hard, hold your head strong because that&#039;s all you can do

that was so AMAZING AND UNBELIEVABLE...i could so relate to ya. thank u for writing this piece

on Aug. 2 2010 at 5:58 pm
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
37 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong

thanks so much :)

on Aug. 2 2010 at 3:13 pm
This is amazing! I love your word choice ;)

on Jul. 31 2010 at 12:30 pm
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
37 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong

thank you so so much! it means the most :) i will totally check out your work

on Jul. 31 2010 at 12:29 pm
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
37 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong

thank you so much :)

on Jul. 31 2010 at 12:29 pm
MelanieLouise PLATINUM, Plymouth, Minnesota
37 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong

thank you!! more work will probably be up soon :)

on Jul. 30 2010 at 9:06 pm
writingchick GOLD, Huntington, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Faith is taking another step without seeing the entire staircase.&quot;

if you can* hahaha my bad

on Jul. 30 2010 at 9:05 pm
writingchick GOLD, Huntington, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Faith is taking another step without seeing the entire staircase.&quot;

I love the last part :) good description, check out my work if you please, rate and comments :) good work :)

on Jul. 30 2010 at 10:11 am
Hannahgee6 BRONZE, Greensburg, Kentucky
1 article 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
therefore do not worry about tomorrow. for tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of its own.<br /> -jesus

wow. this is great!!! i know how your feel. and i can feel the emotion in this piece. you did a really good job. keep it up. :)

on Jul. 28 2010 at 7:02 pm
crubs33 DIAMOND, Lido Beach, New York
58 articles 3 photos 750 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.&quot;- Coco Chanel<br /> Life isn&#039;t about surviving the storm, it&#039;s about learning to dance in the rain.

I love the emotion!! keep it up!!