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Salvation in the Sun
Running through darkening streets
My bloodied, bare feet kiss cold pavement
Dark silence that is otherworldly
Meets my ears and delivers threats
I look to my left and see
A quilt of shadows fall swiftly upon
The finger-like towers that trace the sky
And make them crumble
I look to my right and see
Ancient trees shaking hands
And whispering heartfelt goodbyes
Then withering into the dirt
I look skyward and witness
The moon breaking into white pieces
Each floating sadly apart
In different directions
All around me portions of the world
Are delivered into darkness
It is like a nightmare that killed reality
And took his mighty throne
Moaning people litter the ground
Lost souls and crumpled bodies
Their cries die at their lips
But faces are frozen in sorrow
I look towards the untouched sun
That shines sadly on the grim event
And I can sense the world falling
Slowly beneath my gliding feet
My mind touches the heart of the sun
And I think of its celestial warmth
Through gleaming tears I see my dying home
And I think of the salvation in the sun
My eyes grip the faraway sun
And I leap possessed by wild hope
As the world falls away sobbing
Into the abyss
I land upon a mourning dove
And clamber onto its back
My cold hands hold its feathered wings
Our black eyes are locked on the sun
My bird and I sail upon an endless road of sky
Never do our eyes wander behind us
Although paper voices whisper to me
Telling me to turn around
And time is twisted into a dream
Raindrops fall like a million eyes
Although there are no cotton clouds
Or cheery sky, just the sun
I feel the god of love behind me
With her golden hair
Wrapping around my spirit
And her endless, bittersweet eyes
And hanging unto the great bird’s tail
Is Death with his tempting mien
And she and he tell me stories
Of the salvation in the sun
I picture the bliss of letting go
Of my faithful mourning dove’s
Beating wings and falling
Blissfully and gracefully into oblivion
But I am called forward by
Something in the depth of my heart
Tears in my eyes, silence on my lips
I am wistful for the salvation in the sun
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This article has 25 comments.
I.... don't know what to say about this, it was profound, and poignant, gorgeous, and effervescent. (Really like that word)
Amazing, beautiful, shining, and glorious. (I'm also fond of many adjectives used to describe the whole feeling of a thing.)
Oh my goodness. This was incredible. I've read it about five times already. The imagery is amazing--I can really see the desolate scene, and feel the hope of reaching the sun...Really amazing. I applaud you.
As the author below me pointed out, the symbolism is undeniable, but merely alluded to, giving the work a truly poetic feel. I love the way it doesn't rhyme, but the rhythm carries the sentences forward as if they do rhyme.
Sorry for the long post! I usually get enthusiastic about really good pieces! Overall, I loved this, and I don't see why it shouldn't be published somewhere . [:
Just one thing i suggest you fix: "A quilt of shadows falling swiftly upon..." It's correct this way and it'd be consistent with your following stanzas.
Aside from that one grammatical detail, I was completely taken aback by your vivid imagery and clever personification. Just like your other poem, you prove majestic in the art of crafting a world so crisp and clear that the reader cannot help but succumb to your eloquence. I have no favorite part in this poem, merely because it would be unjust to choose simply one.
Your poem speaks of courage and devotion when none is available. Of beautiful, everlasting hope. I did notice one thing: should you of fallen off then you would of landed into oblivion, but if you continued towards the "salvation in the sun," then wouldn't that be oblivion as well? Or perhaps the preferred portal to death, where glory abide and such Biblical promises reside? Whether or not you intended this paradox, it is genius. Provokes and leaves me wanting to know the end.
I lay my pen to you. Keep writing.
