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The Girl Watches
The girl watches.
People laughing and enjoying themselves.
She knows what they think, these people who talk.
They think she is invisible, unnoticed by all.
But I know what they think, these people who talk and I will make sure she has her say.
One day, I will find a way for her to have her say.
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This article has 16 comments.
This is quite clever and I do enjoy the ideas and writing.
Just a little constructive feedback, all with structure. If you seperate the "these people who talk" lines, so instead of using a comma, you give them their own lines, I think the poem would flow better. And a little more spacing in some of the others might sound a little nicer. It's a matter of preference exactly how it's done, so don't just take the way I do it, if you'd like something better. I'd probably space it like this:
The girl watches.
People laughing and enjoying themselves.
She knows what they think,
These people who talk.
They think she is invisible,
Unnoticed by all.
But I know what they think,
These people who talk
And I will make sure she has her say.
One day, I will find a way
For her to have her say.
What do you think?
I'm generally on the louder and charismatic side, though I am inexplicably drawn to quieter people.
I liked the poem, it was short and sweet.