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The Girl Watches

October 7, 2010
By Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
More by this author
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 509 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

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The girl watches.
People laughing and enjoying themselves.
She knows what they think, these people who talk.
They think she is invisible, unnoticed by all.
But I know what they think, these people who talk and I will make sure she has her say.
One day, I will find a way for her to have her say.

© Brit H., Peabody, MA

The author's comments:
I was watching one of the quiet girls in my English class and wondered what it would be like not being able to talk, but still wanting to communicate. I was curious about they were thinking and this is the result.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 16 comments.

CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Aug. 3 2011 at 8:17 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

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&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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I like the imagery in your poem.  It's nice, simple and tells a story.  Great work! :)
Healing_Angel SILVER said...
on May. 28 2011 at 6:57 pm
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 509 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

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Thanks so much guys! :) I really, really appreciate the feedback!
HeatherBee BRONZE said...
on Apr. 5 2011 at 10:59 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
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awwwww, i love this, it has like, its own other story to it. so sweet :))
Jubilex SILVER said...
on Mar. 4 2011 at 6:21 pm
Jubilex SILVER, Adelaide, Other
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I'm not sure why it repeated my comment =S
Jubilex SILVER said...
on Mar. 4 2011 at 6:20 pm
Jubilex SILVER, Adelaide, Other
7 articles 0 photos 28 comments

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&quot;I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won&#039;t tell them people are starving in China or anything like that because it won&#039;t change the fact that they were upset. And even if someone has it much worse, that doesn&#039;t really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad.&quot;<br /> - The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky

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This is quite clever and I do enjoy the ideas and writing.

 

Just a little constructive feedback, all with structure. If you seperate the "these people who talk" lines, so instead of using a comma, you give them their own lines, I think the poem would flow better. And a little more spacing in some of the others might sound a little nicer. It's a matter of preference exactly how it's done, so don't just take the way I do it, if you'd like something better. I'd probably space it like this:

 

The girl watches.

People laughing and enjoying themselves.

She knows what they think,

These people who talk.

They think she is invisible,

Unnoticed by all.

But I know what they think,

These people who talk

And I will make sure she has her say.

One day, I will find a way

For her to have her say.

 

What do you think?

Timekeeper DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 30 2011 at 3:31 pm
Timekeeper DIAMOND, Cary, North Carolina
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I'm generally on the louder and charismatic side, though I am inexplicably drawn to quieter people.

I liked the poem, it was short and sweet.

Lacer GOLD said...
on Jan. 11 2011 at 2:54 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
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This is an amazing piece with extreme relvance to today. I have a very large appreciation for deep interpretation and poetry, and I love the piece and what it proposes people to do. Less is more :)
Coffee BRONZE said...
on Jan. 8 2011 at 12:49 pm
Coffee BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
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exactly. I used to be just like that. I'm a little more outgoing now, but still

anyway, i thoguht it was great, really.

Hazel-daisy GOLD said...
on Jan. 7 2011 at 3:39 pm
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
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I liked it and I had a girl in my class who did the exact same thing (she just watched us and never said anything) this poem is kind of what I feel aswel so I relate to it very much!! Well done!!
amandap PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 5 2010 at 6:07 pm
amandap PLATINUM, Midlothian, Virginia
31 articles 0 photos 183 comments
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aaahh :) I enjoyed this. You say so much with so little, and it is quite relatable! good job :)
echome94 PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 13 2010 at 9:26 pm
echome94 PLATINUM, Daleville, Virginia
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It isnt fun being the quiet girl, you want to speak but never find your voice for fear of being picked on.
AshTree SILVER said...
on Nov. 13 2010 at 11:06 am
AshTree SILVER, Clarksville, Tennessee
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I like this. I've never really been the quiet person and it makes me wonder what I would be like if I was. Go you! *gives a gigantic smile* :D
Atrissa BRONZE said...
on Oct. 27 2010 at 5:25 pm
Atrissa BRONZE, Akron, Ohio
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no, i like it. it shows someone cares about her :)
Healing_Angel SILVER said...
on Oct. 27 2010 at 12:39 am
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 509 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

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Thanks so much! :) I wasn't sure how the last 2 lines would come out or whether they would stuff up the entire poem!!
Atrissa BRONZE said...
on Oct. 26 2010 at 2:58 pm
Atrissa BRONZE, Akron, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
With everything falling down around me, I&#039;d like to believe in all the possibilities.

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this is really cool. i like how u wrote it from an unknown persons point of view :)