looks at the
razor
tears dripping of his chin
cleansing the blade
of the
crimson flood
trying to stem the flow
of
blood
BLACK


wakes up
sees sterile white walls
falls back into a
drugged
sleep


wants to
stay at home
hiding
from everyone who used to care
hiding
from the prying eyes
hiding from the saddened stares
hiding
from anyone showing pity


used to know
them
those people
who don’t care but say
they do


feels different
and not all there……………..
happy
yet depressed
happily depressed

looks at the
razor
tears in his eyes
trickling down his cheeks
dripping slowly down
toward the floor


looks at the razor
his only friend
his only enemy
the razor whom never
judged
or
complained


knows
what the razor does
Sometimes
he tries to stop
He knows
That a person only has
So much
Blood







presses the razor
against the
inside of his elbow
aiming
for the
little blue vein
just visible
under his skin


standing at a cracked mirror
wonders why
he feels so
empty……….
…………a scream splits the silence


spins round
sees a little girl
staring at his feet
he looks down
shocked
at the pool
of
blood


gets ready to run away
black webs
grabbing for him
holding him
claiming him

BLACK




wakes up
sees sterile white walls
sees sterile white bandages
feels the drip in his other arm
and knows
that this time
he survived
barely


is nervous
the lady walked out
called his name
now he feels like
he used to
when he got called
into the dentists room
pensive but hopeful
but this time
he wants to be seen


sits gingerly on a threadbare
sofa
feeling out of place
knowing
trying to hide
what he really
feels
inside


feels
ripped up
torn apart
like a leaf on the wind
constantly being tossed back into his past
back into everything he wants to forget


cries
tears dripping
slow tracks down his pale cream cheeks
onto his leg
as he
slowly
peels away
the brick walls
he wrapped around his heart
trying to keep
the flood of pain
unshed tears
unfelt feelings
from overwhelming him
once more………………