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This Cold Ground

November 18, 2010
By ToRemember SILVER, Somersworth, New Hampshire
More by this author
ToRemember SILVER, Somersworth, New Hampshire
6 articles 1 photo 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont ever tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

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I lay upon this frozen ground.
and slowly cry as my heart pounds.
A falling Star soon passes by, but cold and lifeless i still lie. Your words wont ever leave my head, im falling deeper, yet not dead. A puzzle your heart continues to be, pieces are scattered, some given to me.
Confusion circles all around, yet, still i lay upon the ground.

© Jessica P., Easley, SC

The author's comments:
This poem was written a while back, about someone who lied a lot to me. See it as someone whos kind of in a place where only those bad things are around them, but they hold on to life, and hope and wait, just lying there.
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This article has 5 comments.

alanacarlene DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 23 2010 at 12:06 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.<br /> -Alex (aka GangstaEyes)<br /> Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.<br /> -Winston Smith &#039;1984&#039;<br /> Don&#039;t go wishin&#039; your life away...<br /> -Daddy S2<br /> &quot;What a drag it was to be limited by reality.&quot;

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Yeah I haven't seen it done on TeenInk yet if I may just try to do it! You should too! Challenge yourself! haha
ToRemember SILVER said...
on Dec. 23 2010 at 12:36 am
ToRemember SILVER, Somersworth, New Hampshire
6 articles 1 photo 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont ever tell me the sky&#039;s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

View profile
thats a really really awesome idea!! i would never have thought of that! 
alanacarlene DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 11:12 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.<br /> -Alex (aka GangstaEyes)<br /> Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.<br /> -Winston Smith &#039;1984&#039;<br /> Don&#039;t go wishin&#039; your life away...<br /> -Daddy S2<br /> &quot;What a drag it was to be limited by reality.&quot;

View profile
Yes but! The way you have it is different and not the same ol style the way most everyone else's free verses are like mine haha! Sometimes different is better! You kno what would be cool (just a suggestion) when you type your poem type it into a shape like a cross or circle it'll look cool! Not many ppl do that necause it's not easy! just a suggestion lol and your welcome!
ToRemember SILVER said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 10:08 pm
ToRemember SILVER, Somersworth, New Hampshire
6 articles 1 photo 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont ever tell me the sky&#039;s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

View profile
thanks!!!! and yea i agree it would have looked better and maybe would have been easier to read. (:
alanacarlene DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 9:09 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.<br /> -Alex (aka GangstaEyes)<br /> Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.<br /> -Winston Smith &#039;1984&#039;<br /> Don&#039;t go wishin&#039; your life away...<br /> -Daddy S2<br /> &quot;What a drag it was to be limited by reality.&quot;

View profile
Wow I really really like this!!!! 5 stars!!! The only thing I'd do (and this is being very nit-picky) is I'd like separate the lines each line ending with the words that are rhymed! But again that's me being nit-picky lol! Great job the words really flowed!