All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Ship In A Bottle
White sails flowing.
A lighthouse stands straight and tall
in the distance.
The tall masts
shadow over the long hull.
A series of shrouds and halyards
run up and down by the flag.
So detailed.
The colors were hoisted.
Blue water sparkled underneath the
magnificent boat.
But the beautifully crafted boat
was stuck in a glass bottle.
A boring glass bottle.
Never to see the world.
Just the inside of that
boring glass bottle.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 17 comments.
I love the words you use except for one: "boring" . It just does'nt fit with the rest. Of course, now that I think hard about it maybe that's intentional? To contrast the prison with the prisoner? Still, a quick read does'nt really reveal that kind of depth and the word just sort of jars.
Also, I think maybe you should break the lines diferently. Each line should contribute to the rythm and/or convey a distinct idea. Not necesarily a sentice or phrase, just and idea. And if you don't do either of those, at least be consistent in it. Unfortunately, I see none of these things.
I hope this feedback does'nt seem too harsh. I really think this poem is good for a first try. It has good descriptions and the overall metaphor is good, but there definitely are things I, at least, would change.
Wow, this poem is a beautiful interpretation of what your feeling.
Awww, no...
I don't think there's really an age to understand life or whatever, it depends on your maturity level and how much you've gone through and what your ambitions are.
But with talent like this, you're gonna go far (:
Hope to see more :D .
42 articles 4 photos 135 comments
Favorite Quote:
"We're all pretty bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it." -Andrew Clark(The Breakfast Club)<br /> <br /> "Lack of format? Not possible in my opinion. Writing is an art, therefore you do you what you want." -b_gomez114