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September

August 18, 2011
By PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
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PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
47 articles 0 photos 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Stay golden&quot;<br /> - Johnny (The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton)

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The wind is always blowing dusty sighs
Here, in late September
Her hands had been small; gently… perfect,
But so small and slender
And cold
Damn
(Weak)
It creaks, like my knees. Damn.
I think I am going to cry
a corpse is always a lie
And cold

© Lauren O., Weymouth, MA

The author's comments:
(a summation of thought from Blue Dusty, a response to Seven Pt 1)
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.

leafy said...
on Nov. 19 2011 at 9:43 am
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion.&nbsp;<br /> Ernest Hemingway: I hate it.&nbsp;<br /> Gil: You haven&#039;t even read it yet.&nbsp;<br /> Ernest Hemingway: If it&#039;s bad, I&#039;ll hate it. If it&#039;s good, then I&#039;ll be envious and hate it even more. You don&#039;t want the opinion of another writer.&nbsp;

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Loved your personification with the wind. This poem has few words, but is packed with delth and meaning. I agree, thr 2nd dam.n should have its own line. Amazing, 5/5
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 12 2011 at 2:19 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
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Awesome poem. It's nice and simple, but also has amazing depth. I only have one suggestion: I think the 2nd dam.n should be given its own line, just to be consitent.
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 19 2011 at 8:27 pm
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE, Central, New Jersey
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&quot;We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.&quot; -Eleanor Roosevelt

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Wow... Very, very different. Awesome. I love "a corpse is always a lie"! Great job, 5/5!