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Gentle

January 3, 2012
By WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
More by this author
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

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Beautiful...
The ethereal shimmer surrounds us;
But what can I speak?
This nervous air,
Quiet, quiet...
Transfixed.
Soft words fleet across your lips,
Lost...
Are they forgotten?
Breathed in by fear?
Silenced.
Are we now caught inside the truth?
Trying to deny...
Ourselves?
You?
Me?
Why?

Such tender confusion,
Embraced in every violet kiss...
What spell has broken?

Is it...
No...

Needing a reason...

Love?

© Jonathan L., LaGrange, GA

The author's comments:
<3 this is how I hope to always feel one day...
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 26 comments.

TheGirlWhoReachesForStars SILVER said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 9:46 am
TheGirlWhoReachesForStars SILVER, Morrisville, North Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
\&quot;Imperfection is beauty; madness is genius. <br /> and its better to be absolutely ridiculous <br /> than absolutely boring.\&quot;<br /> -Marilyn Monroe

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I love your wording... "violet kiss".. its soooo beautiful :)
Nichole1994 GOLD said...
on Mar. 31 2012 at 2:38 pm
Nichole1994 GOLD, Terre Haute, Indiana
15 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I loved you once, I love you still, I always have, and I always will!&quot;

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It was wonerfully written and I can relate to it
deleted said...
on Mar. 27 2012 at 8:27 pm
deleted, Miami, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 194 comments
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This ones really cool... I like it a lot :)
Neytiri GOLD said...
on Mar. 8 2012 at 3:02 pm
Neytiri GOLD, Hilo, Hawaii
14 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live as if you&#039;ll die today. Dream as if you&#039;ll live forever.

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Of course I will hun!!!
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 8 2012 at 2:42 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thank you ^^
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 8 2012 at 2:41 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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THANK YOU! Hey, can you go ahead and check out all the rest of my work and comment and rate? I haven't been able to get on in a while and I desperately want someone to comment on all of them ^^ You'd be SO awesome if you did!
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 8:19 am
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks so much!^^
EthanCalhoun PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 8:13 am
EthanCalhoun PLATINUM, Fairview, New Jersey
30 articles 0 photos 36 comments
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I like the way yu wrote the poem, ur style..and i like the way yu ended it, i like it alot
stardreamer SILVER said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 7:48 pm
stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
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This is so good :) as everyone else said, i really like ur unique way you wrote this poem!
tes1634 PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 7:33 pm
tes1634 PLATINUM, Olive Hill, Kentucky
46 articles 16 photos 17 comments
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I'm like all the other readers, this is such an unusual way to write but I love it! It's so unique...I really like that I feel like I am reading her thoughts instead of hearing it from some wierd creeper guy standing over them and telling me what the scene looks like :) haha
Wonderment DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 6:08 pm
Wonderment DIAMOND, Scranton, Pennsylvania
75 articles 0 photos 141 comments
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I love the vibe i get from this. Its perfect. It's amazing, like I felt it. Im giving you 5 stars and im putting this in my favorites.
chloena_garrett GOLD said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 1:13 pm
chloena_garrett GOLD, Colorado City, Texas
19 articles 13 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.<br /> <br /> Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.<br /> <br /> A poem is never finished, only abandoned.<br /> <br /> Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.

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I love the word silenced in the middle of the poem. It gives it a sense of there but hushed and put away. I LOVE THIS! 5/5
-Emie- SILVER said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 8:32 pm
-Emie- SILVER, Wayland, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 171 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Well-behaved women seldom make history.&quot; - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich<br /> &quot;Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.&quot; - G.K. Chesterton

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I read this poem as if it were spoken. I think this poem would be best as a spoken-word poem. I don't think having it written down does it justice. And I've noticed you have a thing for ellipsis. I'm not a fan, so if it were me I'd tone them down. A comma could work just as well and is less distracting.
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 19 2012 at 6:43 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks! And I always will!(:
Luna3952 SILVER said...
on Jan. 19 2012 at 6:28 pm
Luna3952 SILVER, Lynchburg, Virginia
6 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
All is fair in love and war.<br /> Palsm 114<br /> John 3:17

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Beautiful!!! Keep writing!
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 7:24 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks so much! I started writing free verse about two years ago. I fell in love with it because the thought of not being tied down to rhyming words and just letting my thoughts flow captivated me so much. I feel a sort of liberation when I write free verse and wouldn't want to change my style for the world(:
InvisibleHeart GOLD said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 7:21 pm
InvisibleHeart GOLD, Barony, Other
15 articles 4 photos 36 comments
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I really find this kind of poem interesting. My poems normally rhyme, but that's just what I like to do mostly. I did try, however, free-style and quite enjoyed it and liked how the poems turned out. I can see why you like it too. Good job, keep up the excellent work ! :)
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:36 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

View profile
Thanks!!!(; I love free verse! I tried to do the rhyming thing, but it just wasn't me ya know?
marissadele PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:26 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

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&quot;If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you&#039;ll know it. I don&#039;t think you should wait. I think you should speak now.&quot; -Taylor Swift

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I agree with JerseyGirl, not my style either, but still, it's very good! It's very hesitant and.."gentle" =) 5/5
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:11 pm
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE, Central, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.&quot; -Eleanor Roosevelt

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I really, really like it! Not my style, but good job!