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Gentle
January 3, 2012
Beautiful...
The ethereal shimmer surrounds us;
But what can I speak?
This nervous air,
Quiet, quiet...
Transfixed.
Soft words fleet across your lips,
Lost...
Are they forgotten?
Breathed in by fear?
Silenced.
Are we now caught inside the truth?
Trying to deny...
Ourselves?
You?
Me?
Why?
Such tender confusion,
Embraced in every violet kiss...
What spell has broken?
Is it...
No...
Needing a reason...
Love?
© Jonathan L., LaGrange, GA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 26 comments.
TheGirlWhoReachesForStars SILVER said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 9:46 am
I love your wording... "violet kiss".. its soooo beautiful :)
Nichole1994 GOLD said...
on Mar. 31 2012 at 2:38 pm
It was wonerfully written and I can relate to it
deleted said...
on Mar. 27 2012 at 8:27 pm
This ones really cool... I like it a lot :)
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 8 2012 at 2:42 pm
Thank you ^^
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 8 2012 at 2:41 pm
THANK YOU! Hey, can you go ahead and check out all the rest of my work and comment and rate? I haven't been able to get on in a while and I desperately want someone to comment on all of them ^^ You'd be SO awesome if you did!
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 8:19 am
Thanks so much!^^
EthanCalhoun PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 8:13 am
I like the way yu wrote the poem, ur style..and i like the way yu ended it, i like it alot
stardreamer SILVER said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 7:48 pm
This is so good :) as everyone else said, i really like ur unique way you wrote this poem!
I'm like all the other readers, this is such an unusual way to write but I love it! It's so unique...I really like that I feel like I am reading her thoughts instead of hearing it from some wierd creeper guy standing over them and telling me what the scene looks like :) haha
Wonderment DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 6:08 pm
I love the vibe i get from this. Its perfect. It's amazing, like I felt it. Im giving you 5 stars and im putting this in my favorites.
chloena_garrett GOLD said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 1:13 pm
I love the word silenced in the middle of the poem. It gives it a sense of there but hushed and put away. I LOVE THIS! 5/5
I read this poem as if it were spoken. I think this poem would be best as a spoken-word poem. I don't think having it written down does it justice. And I've noticed you have a thing for ellipsis. I'm not a fan, so if it were me I'd tone them down. A comma could work just as well and is less distracting.
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 19 2012 at 6:43 pm
Thanks! And I always will!(:
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 7:24 pm
Thanks so much! I started writing free verse about two years ago. I fell in love with it because the thought of not being tied down to rhyming words and just letting my thoughts flow captivated me so much. I feel a sort of liberation when I write free verse and wouldn't want to change my style for the world(:
InvisibleHeart GOLD said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 7:21 pm
I really find this kind of poem interesting. My poems normally rhyme, but that's just what I like to do mostly. I did try, however, free-style and quite enjoyed it and liked how the poems turned out. I can see why you like it too. Good job, keep up the excellent work ! :)
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:36 pm
Thanks!!!(; I love free verse! I tried to do the rhyming thing, but it just wasn't me ya know?
marissadele PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:26 pm
I agree with JerseyGirl, not my style either, but still, it's very good! It's very hesitant and.."gentle" =) 5/5
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:11 pm
I really, really like it! Not my style, but good job!
