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My Knight in Crinkled Tin

January 13, 2012
By billgamesh11 BRONZE, Grafton, Massachusetts
More by this author
billgamesh11 BRONZE, Grafton, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always darkest before the dawn." ~Florence and the Machine

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My Knight in Crinkled Tin

My Knight in grand old
Shining armor
Turned out
To actually be wearing
Crinkled tin.

He’s not a knight actually.
He can’t be, what with his
Horse being so unwashed from all the
Lies he smeared on it’s once gorgeous brown coat,
His broken code of chivalry,
And his too-small helmet that fit perfectly before his
Head got too big.

The only knightly thing
About him
Is his sharp
Sword.
The sword he used to
Slice and
Dice my heart
Into tiny pieces.

© Jeff H., Marblehead, MA

The author's comments:
I got my inspiration for this piece after my first heartbreak that recently happened :P
Hope you guys like it!
I am new at poetry, so please tell me if the flow is off because of how I spaced out the words! Thanks! :):):);)
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This article has 2 comments.

billgamesh11 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 4:27 pm
billgamesh11 BRONZE, Grafton, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It&#039;s always darkest before the dawn.&quot; ~Florence and the Machine

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No :P That's the way it was before:) But thanks, I needed that critique! I am new at poetry, so I need all the help I can get to get better!!! Thanks again!!! :):):);)
GingerKarls SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2012 at 4:45 pm
GingerKarls SILVER, ......, Louisiana
9 articles 0 photos 9 comments

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&quot;Let everything you do, be done in love.&quot; 1 Corinthians 16:14 &lt;3

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I really like this(: The way you described him as being a knight, but not really, is brilliant! My only critique is that your spacing is a little off maybe, but I know that sometimes it changes when it's published.