Dear,
Your artificiality is sickening, your patronization is infuriating, and I'm through. Honestly, do you try to make me hate you?
You,
The sneer is overkill, I'm telling you. Listen, I like you almost as much as you like me, which is not at all. But I see your potential. You could be such a nice guy if you were...nice.
Friend, 
Credit where credit is due. You always made me smile. I miss you much.
Brother,
You are one of the few people I understand, maybe because we have lots in common. Maybe too much, because I see my flaws in you and they annoy me.
Me,
You seem like a decent person. Polite, smart, talented. Why can't you get it together?