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To Someone I Thought I Knew...But Didn't
June 20, 2013
I always knew you
were a figment of my dreams,
a perfect being
created by my
whimsical fancy—
I always knew,
for my heart begged
me to believe,
but I would not heed;
for once, I refused
to accept the naked truth,
the reality everyone else
could see and pointed out
for me—yet I ignored,
believing your lies
like the only truth in life.
So I flung myself
from the cliff,
hoping you'd be there
to catch me
like you promised me
everyday (I too vowed
the same for you—
I still do)—
but you never caught my
flightless body; and I fell
like Alice through the
rabbit hole; yet all
that greeted me beneath
were jagged stones that fit
perfectly into the void you
left behind.
And all I could think before
the stone cracked my skull
was, "Where are you?"
Until, I realized you
were never truly there
to catch me.
© Silvia F., Galesburg, IL
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This article has 8 comments.
Thanks. That means a lot to me. Writing this poem was awfully difficuly. Because I had to go back and probe in areas I wanted to leave alone forever. And thank you for the suggestion. I'll see what I can do with it in the future. I want to keep working on it. And I appreciate your input in it. Don't feel bad for giving suggestions. I take them all.
thatunknownthing DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 6 2013 at 4:57 am
Wow. I have felt this before, only that you've put it into so gracefully into words, I'm awed. "the void you left behind", and "my heart begged me to believe" were incredily creative lines. Do you think the end would have sounded better without "to catch me" with just "you were never truly there." ? Just a suggestion. But great work! I'm, as I said, awed by this one.
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Jul. 4 2013 at 1:33 pm
Haha nah I won't punch you, but I have no qualms about getting in trouble on your behalf XD All I have left to do is pick out the nearest gas station to dye my auburn hair black, and then I'm fully prepared for the fugitive life >:D jkjk
I so think it could have used more emotion. I agree. As I was editing it. I thought this could be more personal. But at the point, when I was writing this, it was all so fresh. And like I was expecting it already. Like I wasn't surprised. Also, like I was accepting it for once. I kind of took it all stoically. *tries to feel my non-existent heart's pulse* meh. I'm happy, in a sad way—sappy way—that you can relate to this. I appreciate it. And I'm preparing for that soiree too. Dunno when it shall be. But it must happen; that's for sure.
Thanks. I appreciate your concern. As soon as I discover this person's true identiry, I'll let you know. Yet I fear you'll get into too much trouble on my behalf. But thanks, anyway. For the feedback too. *takes one slow step away from Krasota in case she punches me*
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 1 2013 at 8:17 pm
Welcome to my world! A constant battle if wether to trust this person or not. And when you finally find that perfect friend, the one you always dreamed of, they fail to pull through leaving you..... falling. Amazing poem. I love the comparison between Alice and you and I am so sorry for this and i know exactly how you feel McKay. It sucks. Trust me i have been their multiple times: waging wars between myself and them. And I like how its personal, we really get a sense of you. I loved the imagery, however, i thought that the emotion throughout the piece could have been...... More emotional. I know what this pain feels like.... All to well, and i would have liked to see that a little bit more. But besides that: congrats on creating a relatable poem, that is really good ;) that's all for now mckay. Keep rockin. {Ps: I've been listening to a lot of Florence lately, getting ready for our party in Paris :)}
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on Jun. 29 2013 at 7:53 pm
I like the comparison between Alice in Wonderland and you falling. I'm really sorry about this though, and I shall punch whoever did this and split their lip. Anyways, I love your descriptions in here! :D Have a nice day!
