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Just so MAG
I.
We cannot be Route One, which slithers
up the coast in an Atlantic
Romantic fashion.
We cannot be the coveted, ephemeral rose
blossom.
We cannot be the scent of sea spray.
We cannot be a bittersweet chocolate.
We cannot be the song you heard
when it rained at night and the stars
shone through the clouds
just
so.
We cannot.
II.
You think I have forgotten:
The melody of our first dance
and the way you smelled when your
lips met mine.
A corner table in a coffee shop,
where our names are etched for
eternity.
The words whispered, naked and bare,
when the light tricked me into seeing
halos.
Wonderwall.
Freshly cut grass.
A peppermint scone and espresso.
“I think I've fallen in love.”
with me?
III.
It's kinda funny now.
Origami, almost a crane,
but a misfold and
garbage.
We unfolded ourselves, peeled
each other off the paper,
set out to love what had become easy,
but only succeeded in ripping
what was already ruined.
We could never be Route One.
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This article has 11 comments.
However, a criticism is that the name is a little dull, a name is very important as it has to intrigue or excite the reader so they are curious to read it; if it was not for the editors choice I most likely would have kept scrolling. You can use a variety of different names, and with your use of vocabulary I'm sure you can come up with something interesting. Although simple can be effective, I feel that titles should reflect the piece as much as possible and due to the more complex type of peom you have written, a title like that would suit it perfectly.
The imagery is very good, and it compliments the metaphors even more, good job and keep it up :)
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